Resolutions, Not Only for the New Year

If you are reading this, there is probably something in your daily life that you want to change. Granted, there is no reason to do that for the New Year instead of any other day, but there is also no reason not to. You just happen to have a bit more time or motivation to think about change, so why not use it?

In this post, we will look at how to choose resolutions to help you actually go through with them. But before we do that, you should know that research in motivation psychology can actually help you formulate better goals. We already wrote about that in this post. Here is the summary: Just saying “I vow to lose weight” or “I want to cut on social media” will not work. You need to make your goals specific and turn them into if-then plans with clear triggers. For instance, If I eat meat, I order a salad with it. If I just sat on the couch after work, I grab a book and read a chapter. Check this post to see how to formulate successful resolutions.

Specific, triggered resolutions

What is it you want to change? Losing a few pounds, spending less time playing computer games, drinking less coffee? Sadly, writing resolutions that way will not work. First, you need to think of the causes of whatever makes you unhappy. If the problem is your weight, you are eating too much and moving too little (sorry to be blunt). If it is social media or computer games, you get started too easily and do not stop in time. If it is too much coffee, you are too quick to order one and you do not think about alternatives in time. If you are overburdened, you are saying “yes” to new tasks too often and not saying “sorry, I cannot” enough (but remember what you are actually paid for). Whatever it is, the problem is a behavior: either something you are doing or something that you are not doing (or both).

Formulate your resolutions to target those behaviors. They have to be specific, telling you very precisely what to do. And they have to be triggered, telling you very precisely when to act. Think of them as specific things that you should do or should not do whenever a particular trigger appears. Here are some examples.

• To stop undesired behaviors, you can use substitutes. Whenever I crave a snack, I will eat a veggie snack (make sure you have them handy). Whenever I want a coffee, I will drink a glass of water. Whenever I choose dessert, I order a fruit salad.
• You can break automatic reactions by building new associations. Whenever I read a social media post, I check my to-do list (or my reminders, or my notepad: see this post) instead of reading another.
• Is it really irreversible? You just ordered dessert, or a coffee, and are already regretting it? Here are the magic words: “Sorry, can I change that order?” You took on another task? “I am sorry, I checked my calendar and I actually do not have the time to do a good job.”
• You can use technology. Set a 20-minute alarm when you start a computer game or when you start looking at social media. It reminds you to stop. It’s the middle of the game? Save the game and stop anyway. You really can’t? Hit snooze. It keeps reminding you not to start another game. (But, seriously, a game you cannot stop when you wish is just more work. Are there alternatives?)

These are just examples. If you know which behaviors are the problem, you can set different resolutions for what you should do and for what you should not do. Be as specific as possible and as closely related to an action trigger as possible.

From goals to resolutions

Let's look at another example in more detail. Jane and John want to lose a few pounds, and, most importantly, not regain them. Thinking about it, they realize that they are eating too many snacks between meals, eating unhealthy breakfasts, and not getting enough exercise.

Making resolutions to “lose weight,” or “exercise more,” or “eat more healthy breakfasts” are not useful. Those are not specific enough, and they are not triggered.

Jane keeps it simple (and tough on herself). She gives up breakfast and replaces it with a simple workout at home. Her resolution is: When I get up in the morning, I start the day with my workout. Knowing that hunger will hit later, she complements it with another: When I get hungry in the morning, I eat a veggie snack. So, she adds veggie snacks to her shopping list.

If you can be like Jane, go ahead (but if you do not have a workout ready, talk to a trainer first, or go to the gym for a few weeks to learn one).

But maybe you are not like Jane. Let’s look at John. He knows he needs his breakfast. So he replaces it with vegetables. He experiments until he finds the ones he likes, and chooses a simple resolution: When I sit down for breakfast, I take my veggies. And since he now has a decent amount of carrots and celery at home, he prepares a few to take to work. So: When I want a snack at work, I open my veggie box.

Unlike Jane’s, John’s resolutions only address the behavior he wants to stop (eating unhealthy breakfasts and snacks), but not the behaviors he wants to start (moving more). John is not the working-out type, but he enjoys walks in the park. There are still a couple of hours of light when he gets home after work, so he decides to go on two walks during the week and a longer one on weekends. He marks the slots prominently in the calendar, or, even better, makes a regular appointment with friends. Whenever he is back from work on Tuesdays and Thursdays, he goes for a walk in the park. Also, whenever he finishes breakfast on Saturday, he goes for a longer walk.

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Your resolution list

You should not overwhelm yourself with a dozen different changes. Just focus on something you want to change, identify the behavior you want to stop, and the behavior you want to start. It does not matter whether you translate those into one or six resolutions, as long as they are all related to the same problem, they are all specific, and they are all triggered. Write them all on a sheet of paper with the “if” parts (triggers) on the left and the “then” parts (actions) on the right. And do not obsess over it if you fail to follow through every now and then. Instead, write the whole list again and replace the sheet to fixate it better in your brain. Most important of all, think of the list as things you do because you chose them!