Don't Just Imagine Reality. Test It.

Fearful fliers get into trouble when, instead of experiencing what is happening on a flight, they imagine something is going wrong. And, instead of applying reality testing, their imagination is experienced as reality.

In turbulence, when the plane drops, confident passengers simply experience the drop. What, if anything, does this movement of the plane mean? Confident fliers can accept that they don't have that information. Anxious passengers cannot tolerate not knowing. Compelled to fill the information vacuum, they make something up. A typical image is that the plane is falling out of the sky.

Imagination masquerades as reality

When the plane drops, stress hormones are released that cause anxious fliers to feel alarmed. When alarmed, their reality testing is disabled. They can no longer distinguish imagination in their mind's eye from images produced by their real eye.

Alarm grabs our attention and forces us to focus on what the amygdala is reacting to. Once alarm has alerted us to possible danger, it has done its job. It needs to be quieted down so our high-level thinking, executive function, can examine the situation and let us know whether we are in real danger or are experiencing a false alarm. But executive function cannot do that so long as alarm persists.

To determine whether a a threat is real or imaginary, executive function must access different areas of the mind.

1. It has to search memory to identify the threat.
2. Memory must retrieve information about past experience with this threat.
3. Executive function must use past experience together with imagination to predict what will happen.
4. Executive function needs to develop strategies to defend against what is predicted.
5. Executive function must choose a strategy and carry it out.

None of that can happen in a state of alarm because alarm - not executive function - controls what we focus on.

The parasympathetic nervous system to the rescue

The parasympathetic nervous system (PNS) needs to free the mind from alarm's stranglehold. If our PNS has learned to automatically push back against the effects of the stress hormones, alarm is suppressed and executive function is restored. Otherwise, alarm persists until the stress hormones burn off which takes about 90 seconds

For a person who is troubled by anxiety and panic, here is where the problem lies. Their PNS is not doings its job. When they get alarmed, they stay alarmed until the stress hormones burn off. Persistent alarm is easily taken as proof that danger exists.

And there you have it. Alarm hijacks the brain. Our reality-testing collapses and imagined danger masquerade as real danger. The problem is compounded by the fact that when reality-testing shuts down, we don't know it has shut down. It is kind of a catch-22: the only way to know our reality testing has shut down is for our reality testing tell us that. But it can't. It is shut down.

Now, in spite of the catch-22 problem, you now know that when the parasympathetic nervous system does not do its job - which is to keep the sympathetic nervous system from taking over - you might as well be on magic mushrooms.

What can we do about it?

Neuroscientist Stephen Porges discovered that when we are with a person who is both physically and emotionally safe to be with, we unconsciously pick up signals from them that activate our PNS. Do you have a friend you feel truly comfortable with? If so, you are probably feeling relaxed in their presence due to signals from their face, voice quality, and body language or touch.

To tune up your PNS, be on the lookout of stress. As soon as you notice stress increase, look up and find a door. Pretend it is opening. Imagine you see your friend walk in. You see each other, smile, and greet each other. Depending on what is appropriate for your relationship, exchange some physical expression of affection. By doing this repeatedly, you train your PNS to automatically activate and push back against the effects of stress hormones when they are released.