Getting Existential With Mark Arm

Existential dread can be understood as the emotional distress we experience as we ponder the meaning of life. One source of this dread can come from a paradox that we face regarding our mortality. We feel that we have control over our lives, but cannot control our inevitable death. This paradox can be incredibly confusing and isolating, as we struggle with the complexity of existence and the belief that we are alone in our struggle.

How do we cope with existential dread? Two possible strategies are validation and finding a sense of purpose. We may validate and accept that our death is inevitable, and acknowledge the surreal and perhaps absurd nature of having to live our lives in this context. We thus feel less confused and less isolated as we normalize our existential dread. Second, we can also ground ourselves in a sense of purpose that can often make us feel more connected to ourselves and others. Thus we affirm that our life has meaning even though we will die.

But even if we successfully employ these strategies, how we validate our existential dread and find purpose can change over the course of our lives. We may feel that we have fully accepted death when we are younger, only to discover as we get older that we fear death. Similarly, our sense of purpose—our commitment to specific relationships, causes, or achievements—may change over time. So even when we feel that we have effectively coped with existential dread, we may still find ourselves struggling throughout our lives.

One way that many of us find the validation and purpose we need to cope with existential dread is through music. Music is often the first place that we learn to experience, confront, and express our deepest emotions. We may find purpose in supporting our favorite artists or making our own music. Further, we may find a sense of community at concerts or just sharing music with friends. And our relationship to the music—the meaning of songs, the bands we like, the music we play, and the scenes we are part of—may change throughout our lives to reflect the changes in our experience of existential dread.

Source: Emily Rieman, used with permission

In order to better understand how themes of existential dread could be explored in music, I spoke with musician and singer-songwriter Mark Thomas McLaughlin, otherwise known as Mark Arm, an artist who has consistently explored existential themes in his music over the past 40 years. Arm has been integral to the origination and proliferation of grunge music—a hybrid mix of punk-rock and heavy metal. Not only was Arm the frontman for Green River—arguably the first grunge band ever—but he was also frontman of Mudhoney, considered by many to be one of the greatest grunge bands of all time. Mudhoney's latest album, Plastic Eternity (2023), explores a range of existential themes including climate change. And as we discussed how existential themes in his life and music, I came away with some important insights into how we can all potentially better manage existential dread.

The first lesson I got from Arm was that in order to best cope with existential dread, it is critical that we keep an open and flexible mind about ourselves and the world throughout our lives. Just because the world is confusing does not mean we are confused. Arm often employs a confrontational and "absurdist" approach to existential themes, and discusses his interest in Franz Kafka's short story Investigations of a Dog.

"I don't know why, but that's always the kind of stuff that ... appealed to me … It's sort of a Zen … it just doesn't matter ... even though things actually do matter … You're looking trying to find some sort of objective reality," Arm told me. "And Kafka ... growing up and sh*t news surrounding him at the time ... and he was able to like come up with some pretty amazing metaphors ... I mean, there was humor there. It was a f*cking dark humor ... One of my favorite parables of his ... Investigations of a Dog. And it's about like a dog philosopher who's trying to understand the world around him. It's brilliant. And in a way, just like it kind of marks the whole process of philosophy."

Second, while confronting existential themes in one's music or philosophy might be validating for us, there is a risk of embracing any particular philosophical approach or behavioral plan too strongly. A philosophy or behavioral plan that may have been validating initially may not fully reflect our sense of reality at a later point. Thus if we embrace a particular dogma or plan too rigidly, it ceases to be validating and helpful in managing existential dread. In fact, one can become disconnected rather than connected to oneself.

"The more I got into it, the more just sort of seemed … about coming up with a thesis and then making an argument or taking positions, whether you believe in them or not ... And that scene that ended up being kind of tedious to me," he explained. "You have habits that you form and just follow. And after a while, you're not even sure, like, why you started doing that thing to begin with ... How it is that you respond to ... a certain situation … Why is that you respond that way? But this is the way you've responded to things in the past. So it just sort of builds up and ... maybe some people like, ends up creating anxiety ... That kind of empty, repetitive thing ... where you're almost in this like mindless drone like state, you just kind of keep going along."

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Accordingly, Arm explained that even with his own songwriting, he does not cling to the original meaning of the song as he performs it later in his life. His original intention did not translate into ongoing expectation. There was therefore no pressure for him to experience a given song in the same way throughout his life. For example, he discussed how he has disconnected from the original meaning of Mudhoney's 1988 seminal song "Touch Me I'm Sick."

"At this point, I don't even have a clear idea of what I was thinking when I wrote that song ... I've sung that song so many times. And I think each time I do it, I'm just looking back to the previous time I did it," Arm described. "So it's a copy of a copy of a copy of a copy that is generated over and over and over again. And I, I mean, I've kind of lost the intention. But I mean, I can say it with conviction."

Similarly, Arm wants the audience to have the freedom to consider different meanings for his songs, such as Mudhoney's new song "Plasticity." "All this stuff that isn't biodegradable ... We created this thing, we being humans, that's just not easily dissolved is going to be around long before we're gone," he said. "'Plasticity' ... explores the several different meanings and ideas of plastic ... The actual physical product ... things being malleable and, and, or fake or what, you know, whatever. I don't want to explain too much of it. Because, you know, I like to let people kind of come up with their own conclusions."

Third, Arm explained that in order to get the most sense of purpose from one's music, it is critical to be connected to our experience. Even in the best of circumstances, we may find ourselves relying on old patterns and habits rather than having a fresh, authentic connection to our lives and music. This may interfere with our achieving the sense of validation and purpose we seek in our music. He explained how sometimes musicians may inadvertently become disconnected from their lives as they have more people handling their affairs. "I think people might sort of cede aspects of their life ... suddenly surround themselves with like entourages and, and get to the point where they ... don't make decisions for themselves. That's just something that they do themselves that they kind of have given up on," Arm described. "I'm sure there's many ways to be grounded ... being aware of what you're doing at the time and instead of just like turning off your brain and stumbling through your daily existence."

Finally, if one is to take an existential journey, do it with like-minded people who can be open and respectful of each other's differences and changes that may happen over the course of each other's lives. He sees this as crucial to Mudhoney's success and longevity as a band. "Every person is different ... everyone's gonna have different opinions and stuff. But I think we're all like, pretty easy in terms of understanding where everyone's coming from, and we'll go out of our way to work with each other, and then hang out and be friends and remain friends," Arm reflected. "I feel like every, everyone's contribution is as important as everyone else. And just to kind of keep that thing going for 35 years."

"I mean, that's why I think that's one of the reasons that we're still here."