PT Blogs: Don't Take My Word for It

What's the worst advice you've ever received? We asked PT's bloggers (psychologytoday.com) for examples of ill-fated wisdom.

Prioritize Credentials

"It will look good on your résumé." I learned from experience that it is a very bad idea to take a job, committee assignment, or office merely because it might contribute to your professional status or future employability. I've done that a few times and been miserable in positions I hated. —Faith Brynie (Brain Sense)

Beg for Friendship

In seventh grade, Becky Greenberg (very popular) hosted a Halloween party to which she didn't invite me, while she did invite my identical twin sister. My dad thought this slight was unjust (he's a labor lawyer), and he urged me to call Becky and ask her why she'd excluded me. I recall two things about the conversation with Becky: 1. It felt humiliating. 2. She still didn't invite me. Dad should have taught me not indignation but resilience: Life ain't fair and we move on. —Abigail Pogrebin (One and the Same)

Take Second Best

The culture—and certain writers named Lori Gottlieb—suggest that women should settle for Mr. Good Enough. Everyone who accepts second best actually knows, somewhere in his or her midnight heart, that second best is not good enough. This is true whether it is second best in love, in work, or in self-expectation. To tell yourself that what you have is what you want when it is not will, eventually, corrode your soul. —Regina Barreca (Snow White Doesn't Live Here Anymore)

Don't Dance!

As a 15-year-old aspiring dancer, I had to see my school career advisor to arrange a week of work experience. "I've got a position for you," she said, "as a sheet metal panel beater." I swore. My father was called. We all ended up in the headmaster's office. The headmaster shouted, then listened, and suggested I audition for dance school. Getting bad advice led me to get the very best advice. —Peter Lovatt (Dance Psychology)

Skip the Funeral

My father died on the other side of the country. A relative advised me not to spend the time and money to go to the funeral. I was quite poor and used that as the excuse, but the truth is that I did not go because losing my dad was so very painful. Not going did not take that pain away, however—it just meant I had even more difficult work to do years later. —Steven C. Hayes (Get Out of Your Mind)

Never Give Up

"Don't ever quit." Quitting is actually incredibly empowering. It's a reminder that you control the situation. Sometimes it's the bravest option, because it requires you to face your failures. —Tina Seelig (CreativityRulz)

In Praise of the Commentariat

Jim Taylor (The Power of Prime) recently commended his commenters.

One thing I love about the commentariat is that it keeps me honest and humble. If I am looking for ego strokes, the blogosphere is definitely not the place to get them. Insults aside, the commentariat is only too happy to expose the holes, biases, and inaccuracies in my thinking, and rightfully so. It also forces me to confront the influence of my own ideology and dogma in the formulation of my ideas. In other words, the commentariat doesn't let me fall too far in love with my own BS.