Why Others’ Success Sometimes Irritates Us

Cultural perception is a funny thing. As someone who grew up in New York, I’m sure that there are certain "traits" that I possess that might rub some people the wrong way. With that, having lived in Ireland for the majority of my life, I’m afforded the ability to see some of these "New York traits" from a somewhat outside perspective (i.e., through an "Irish lens"). For example, playing on stereotypes a bit here, New Yorkers are arguably a bit more blunt with their feelings and attitudes, whereas, on the other hand, Irish people may think the same thing, but are perhaps less likely to make it public knowledge.

The hiding of our feelings versus publicly exhibiting them is an important point of consideration in this piece, but for the moment, consider one thing that both cultures share—their common language of English. Like cultural perception, language is also a funny thing. You may be familiar with the term schadenfreude—a word many English speakers are aware of as one’s pleasure in another’s misfortune. We use the German term because we don’t have a word for the same in English. Is this perhaps because we English speakers are in some ways embarrassed by this emotionally charged reaction we sometimes engage? Likewise, there is another, lesser-known, German term (again, without an English equivalent) that represents a kind of inverse of schadenfreude: gluckschmerz, which refers to displeasure due to someone else’s success/good fortune.

Distinction From "Envy"

Understandably, many will read this and quickly conclude that we do indeed have an English word for it—envy; maybe even jealousy. However, there is a subtle difference here (e.g., see Roseman & Steele, 2018). Gluckschmerz does not require a salient social comparison to elicit the response (Smith & van Dijk, 2018). For example, if I share a competitive relationship with someone and I am dismayed by their success in something, in terms of upward social comparison, I might perceive this as "the gap" between the two of us increasing, which means I have more work to do to "catch up to them." We might consider this "envy," in the sense that I might wish that I had their success. In terms of downward social comparison, I might perceive the gap between myself and this person "below me" as decreasing when they achieve something; thus, I have more work to do to maintain "superiority." Of course, it’s plain to see this as a mechanism of social standing, but it’s also quite utilitarian. Changes in either system require work on our parts to improve ourselves, and that takes effort, which, most of the time, we would prefer not have to exert.

Yes, gluckschmerz can involve social comparison, but it doesn’t have to—hence the distinction from emotional responses akin to envy. Consider gluckschmerz again in the context of rivalry. Though we typically avoid publicly exhibiting our gluckschmerz (I can’t imagine anyone finding it a socially desirable reaction; e.g., as a result of mechanisms associated with insecurity, misanthropy, or some other negative trait), sometimes, gluckschmerz can be a typical part of our day that we do happily exhibit.

For example, I’m an Islanders and Mets fan. Yes, your sympathies are appreciated, as many of you will know that neither team has been very good since the 1980s, apart from a few outlier seasons. With that, both teams are known for their rivalries… I can’t stand the Rangers or Yankees, and I take great enjoyment when they lose. Is that a bit petty? Sure, but I suppose such is the nature of gluckschmerz and why we don’t often show it in more interpersonal contexts. We do it easily with sports, because, at the end of the day, sports just represent entertainment for its spectators (i.e., it’s not really important). Plus, I know I will have the support of all the other Mets and Islanders fans—and my in-group, in this context, is all that matters.

With that, when one of "my" teams loses to their rivals, sure, there might be an element of jealousy or envy from time to time (as a result of comparing sides), but that’s not the be all and end all. The Mets could win every game for the rest of this season and become World Series Champs and I’d still delight in every loss the Yankees suffer. That’s not a result of comparison. That’s simply because I don’t like the Yankees. Thus, gluckschmerz doesn’t have to be a considered perspective (such as through comparison); rather, it's just an intuitive, biased response—a win of any kind for someone or some group that I dislike is a loss for me, and a loss to someone or some group that I dislike is a win for me.

The Notion of Justice

According to Smith and van Dijk (2018), there are various reasons for why gluckschmerz is elicited, including the aforementioned mechanisms of dislike and comparison/appraisal, as well as the notion of justice. The notion of "justice" here refers to the deservedness of the good fortune. For example, if I know a person deserves an award because they’ve worked hard, I'm typically happy for them. Of course, if I don’t like the person, the likelihood of me being happy for them decreases, though it is not unlikely either (i.e., despite not liking them, personally, I believe one's work/effort stands on its own, regardless of my feelings). However, if I don’t like the person and I don’t believe they worked particularly hard for the award, the likelihood of gluckschmerz is greatly increased. In some cases, we may actually like the successful person in this hypothetical example, but still exhibit gluckschmerz because we might feel that they did not deserve it.

Moreover, Smith and van Dijk further note that gluckschmerz may represent a form of exchange as opposed to social comparison. For example, another’s gain (or loss) may correlate with our own loss (or gain)—hence, gluckschmerz being a reasonable reaction consistent with our own perceptions of injustice (or justice in the case of schadenfreude), as opposed to the aforementioned being petty, envious, egotistical—or, indeed, empathic failures (Zaki & Cikara, 2016).

We’re all likely to exhibit gluckschmerz from time to time. Of course, it’s probably not in our best interest to publicly display it (outside of playful contexts), because of how it might look to others. However, it doesn’t make you a "bad person." It is a natural reaction, especially once you consider how our personal perceptions regarding justice, gain/loss, and personal sentiment can influence our feelings toward others’ success. All-in-all, there’s nothing wrong with reacting this way, but it is important that you account for it if faced with a scenario in which an important decision needs to be made in context.