There's Progress Against Ageism in Some Corners

The adage "actions speak louder than words" highlights that what one does has a more profound impact than what one says. This principle is evident when considering societal attitudes towards aging. Often, people's actions don't match their words, revealing ambivalence or discomfort with their true beliefs. This contradiction is visible in everyday actions, such as advocating for recycling while discarding water bottles in the trash. Aging is no different, and this adage is vividly in play.

Progress Against Ageism

Looking at actions, we see progress in combatting ageism. Consider the Rolling Stones: Mick Jagger and Keith Richards are both 80, with the "youngster" of the band, Ronnie Wood, at 77. In May 2024, Lindsay Zoladz reported in The New York Times that the Stones might never stop performing. Their 19-song set, spanning 60 years, showcases their enduring vigor and popularity.

The Unique Nature of Ageism

Ageism is unique because it is a prejudice we all face, directed against our future selves. The fear of aging—encompassing concerns about physical and cognitive decline—often overshadows the emotional and cognitive gains that come with growing older. Negative talk about aging persists, yet actions increasingly contradict this narrative. Our perception of what constitutes "old" changes as we age. As a child, 18 might seem old; at 18, 30 seems old; and at 30, 50 seems old. This evolving perception influences how we act versus how we speak.

Cognitive issues are not inherently tied to age. Bruce Willis, in his 60s, suffers from dementia, an outlier for his age rather than the norm. Most individuals in their 80s can expect to remain highly productive. My editor at Psychology Today, in her 80s, exemplifies sharp intellect and productivity. Betty White, while in her 90s, was more active in her career than many actors decades younger. Figures like Warren Buffet, Rupert Murdoch, Jane Fonda, Maxine Waters, William Shatner, Morgan Freeman, and Martin Scorsese—whose latest film "Killers of the Flower Moon" was released in 2023—are celebrated for their ongoing contributions, despite societal tendencies to denigrate aging.

Changing Perceptions in Some Areas

Our actions reflect shifting attitudes toward age. Consider "The Golden Girls" cast, aged in their 50s and 60s during filming (1985-1992), perceived then as "old." Rue McClanahan was only 51 when she began her role. Contrast this with Jennifer Lopez, now 54, who remains a sex symbol, highlighting how perceptions of age and sexuality have evolved. While McClanahan’s character’s sexuality was comedic, Lopez’s is celebrated. This shift is an action that defies the negative words spoken about age and shows the change in perceptions—women remain sex symbols deep into midlife. Women are not considered old and withered in their 50s.

Words Lag Behind Actions

Some actions are moving away from ageism, but our language has yet to catch up. Society's evolving appreciation for the contributions of older individuals signals a positive shift, yet the conversation around aging needs to align with these actions. Acknowledging and addressing ageism in our words will help foster a more inclusive and respectful perspective on aging, ultimately benefiting us all.

While societal actions against ageism are commendable, there is still work to be done in aligning our words with these actions. Recognizing and celebrating the achievements and capabilities of older individuals will help diminish ageism and create a more inclusive environment for all generations.

By highlighting the dissonance between our actions and words regarding aging, we can better understand and combat ageism. As our society continues to evolve, even if our words haven't caught up with our actions, we are continuing to make progress.