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3 Fun Ways to Use Humor to Confront Excessive Gaming

Replace a control battle with fun and humor to increase connection to your teen

Maybe you tried limiting WiFi access. Then they asked a neighbor for their WiFi password. Maybe you tried hiding their gaming computer. All those Easter egg hunts trained them to find where you hide stuff.

Why not be a little bit goofy to increase your connection to your teen? Use an alternative, fresh (perhaps temporary) strategy to keep the conversation going about the costs and benefits of gaming. This could be something to try (to be purposefully annoying) but in a new way to shake things up a bit and change the energy.

Of course, you should follow the standard recommendations such as limiting gaming time, rewards and consequences, taking control of devices and WiFi access, and finding other healthy activities to replace gaming.

Using these more humorous tactics follows the guidelines of motivational enhancement to "roll with resistance" designed to avoid a power struggle. If you limit a person's freedom they can be motivated to assert their independence - a primary developmental task of a teen.

  • Benefit #1: Humor has been shown to reduce anxiety, boost mood and reduce stress. Why not replace the control battle with these benefits?
  • Benefit #2: Improve your relationship with you child by addressing the issue using fun and humor. It means a lot to your child when you can have relaxed and lighthearted time together.
  • Benefit #3: Open up conversations about video games without it being a fight. Your child will appreciate any curiosity you show in their own interests.

These are meant to be fun suggestions to get the conversation about video games started. This is just the first step.

  1. You watched them play sports from the sideline: what if you pulled up a chair behind their gaming computer and start cheering them on? What if you asked lots of questions about the rules and kept asking what was going on? Be genuinely curious. This could be pretty embarrassing and might get a laugh. It could also make gaming a lot less fun. Now you can start talking about what the impact of the video games are on their life. What goals are being missed because of time gaming? Keep this short, but repeat often.
  2. What if you put so many performance expectations on them that gaming stopped being fun? When you talk about video games keep asking if they're winning, are they leveling up, are they faster than other players? Ok, seriously though, use this as an opportunity to ask questions about what they see as the benefits to spending so much time gaming. Then ask them what the costs are to all this time. Listen closely and help them out as what you see as the costs.
  3. Camp out in their room while they're gaming. Tell them that since you don't get to spend enough time together you can hang out while they're gaming. Make a lot of lame jokes. Try this one out:When do you know when it's a dad joke? When it's apparent!

When they ask you to leave, nonsensically say "Ok, Boomer".

The essence of motivational interviewing - a therapeutic approach developed by Miller and Rollnick, is to roll with resistance and to create a discrepancy between what they want for themselves and how they are spending their time.

Developing discrepancy means noticing that a bad thing is a bad thing. If you walked into a room and saw a pile of garbage, you probably wouldn’t say, “That garbage adds a little something special to the atmosphere.” You would hopefully be motivated to get rid of the garbage. It is easier to fool ourselves about our own habits than about something as obvious as garbage.

Ask them what their goals are for themselves. Once they see that their time gaming is interfering with those goals, this will build internal motivation to limit gaming time.

These tools are not meant to solve a gaming addiction but to address the overuse of gaming. Some teens will cross the line toward an addiction. If you have concerns talk to a local therapist or psychologist and get some help.

Tools to be a Mind Builder.

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More from Lara Honos-Webb Ph.D.
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