Wagons Are Nonsense

The phrase “I am off the wagon” or “I have fallen off the wagon” has a historical reference to being sober (being on the wagon), or back drinking again (being off the wagon). In recent times, I have seen the “off the wagon” terminology to take a broader usage—from dieting to drinking, meditation to exercise.

Modern translation (as made up by me):

• “On the wagon” means acting in line with your goals;
• “Off the wagon” means breaking all the promises to oneself, falling down in goals, and subsequently telling oneself: “I am a loser.”

Very scientific, I know. But I am, after all, a Doctor of Nonsense (also very scientific.)

Here’s the thing. We are living in the 21st century, and we don’t need wagons. Even our kids aren't using wagons very much these days. We have other methods of transportation. We have better ways to get from Point A to Point B. In other words, wagons—and all the multifarious ways of alluding to them should be nixed from our lives.

Why?

Source: Moon 40 Marketing, used with permission

Wagons represent a strange ideal of perfectionism. Either we are doing things perfectly (on the wagon), or we are failing (off the wagon). What a violent way of looking at our less-than-ideal choices too—“falling” off a “wagon”? Ouch.

Whether we are talking about drinking (somewhat more complex, of course, depending on who you are) or if we are talking about general life goals, I implore us to consider a life without wagons—let’s join the modern world.

What does the modern world represent? Well, there is much Nonsense, sure. But we are also, as a whole, more educated and in a position to take a stance on what we allow and what we do not allow in our lives. We can set goals and hold ourselves accountable. We can put tools and resources into place to ensure our compliance.

And we are doing these things ad nauseum. Not only that, but we are setting goals sometimes so lofty that we can only set ourselves up for failure. Failure itself is an interesting topic. The idea of failure goes hand-in-hand with wagons, for the record.

We are living life. Life is not linear and it’s not a place for dictates of perfectionism—from ourselves or those demands we may (wrongly) place upon others. In a world where we are thinking of things as black and white, wagon or no wagon, we give little room for falling down, changing course, or changing our minds. We have no room for forgiveness or starting over—doing things a different way next time. Instead, we decided since the outcome was not as we envisioned from the start that we have somehow failed.

Wagons are an unfair assessment of our full lives.

Wagons are representative of solitary choices (booze, food, exercise, habits) which can ebb and flow, change and adjust. When we boil our entire full life down to these habits, we devalue the whole picture, the good and the bad, the growth and the stillness. In other words, a single, solitary act or choice doesn’t dictate anything other than a small moment in time. Even in the realm of relapse in addiction, that doesn’t mean the individual will forever be “off the wagon” because of one less-than-ideal choice for themselves, because of one drink.

Modern wagon-less living is fluid. Even when we make a choice (or a long series of choices) that are against our ultimate goals, the plans we have laid out so clearly—we can, in reality, start over, immediately. We have the choice to change, to choose differently or better in the next few moments. We can change our course in an instant. But if we are falling off wagons? We are landing hard, getting dirty, and finding ourselves abandoned on a path. We are bruised and beaten and left behind, the wagon pitter-pattering down the road, leaving us in its make-believe dust.

All of that for not having a perfect diet? For not exercising or waking up early? For having a drink and breaking a sober streak?

No. No more wagons. We can pick ourselves up and go forward much more quickly without them. Life is too good for wagons. If we are always riding on wagons or falling off of them, we’re wasting time. Just live. Don’t worry about the wagons—for those rickety old things? They are Nonsense.