You Need to Know This About OCD

OCD can be extremely sneaky and can switch the content of what you once felt fearful and obsessed with to a new theme or obsession entirely. I always inform my clients, once in recovery, what signs to look for in order to know when their OCD is changing themes.

Some years ago, I had a client who was terrified she would hurt, harm, or kill a baby or small child. She did hours and hours of compulsions in order to try to prevent this from happening. She worked very hard in therapy and was extremely successful at getting into recovery using my RIP-R therapy.

She was officially discharged. About a year after her discharge, I received a phone call from her asking me if I knew of any talk therapists to refer her to. She explained that it was not OCD-related but she feared she was in the depths of depression because she could not stop thinking about suicide. She explained that she felt terrified that she could kill herself and every time she had one of these triggering thoughts, she would respond by doing a behavior to make herself feel better. For example, she would not drive anywhere near the railroad tracks by her house for fear that she could lose control and drive in front of the train. She would do this every day—in fact, she found new routes to drive that took much longer just to specifically avoid the tracks.

I broke the news to her that I did not need to refer her to a different therapist, she was already on the phone with the perfect therapist for the job. I explained to her that the symptoms she was experiencing were still OCD. Instead of being fixated on harming children, it had latched on to the idea of harming herself. Because she only thought of her OCD in terms of harming children, it snuck up on her tricking her into thinking she was suicidal instead of still suffering from the endless loop of obsessions and compulsions. This “game” that OCD plays is very common.

This sneaky way that OCD tries to change and disguise reminds me of a quote that I saw in one of my favorite movies of all time. In the film, The Usual Suspects, the main character, Keyser Soze says, “the greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist.” I see OCD as being the same. The last thing your OCD wants is for you to realize that it is the OCD causing all the torture and creating all the havoc. OCD would definitely rather you believe that what it is you are obsessing about is actually quite likely to happen as opposed to realizing that it is the OCD hard and work.

Here are three symptoms to look for in order to know if it is your OCD in disguise:

• You are repeatedly asking friends and family for reassurance. Or, you might also be searching and surfing the web for the answers to satiate your new obsession. You would want to identify that the way you are behaving reminds you very much of how you used to behave when you were experiencing OCD with its former content. Really try to look for those “this seems very familiar” moments. You may even notice that your loved ones are reacting to you the same way they used to react to you when you were in the throes of your previous obsession. The reactions you would be looking for from friends and family are usually irritation and annoyance. When you begin getting this response from those around you, you will want to take notice. Some people are fortunate enough to have close people in their life that will tell them directly they think the OCD is back again. If this happens try not to get defensive and dismiss their concerns. Rather, view their feedback as information that you need to have in order to acknowledge that something is wrong.
• You can also identify that it is OCD in a different form by watching what behaviors you are engaging in. Or, noticing any strong urges to do certain rituals or behaviors. If you are doing behaviors that are directly aimed at making your obsessions better or making yourself feel protected and just right, these are gigantic warning signs. Those behaviors are your compulsions hard at work and trying to train your brain to become reliant on them. I utilize this identification strategy in order to maintain my OCD recovery. Although, my OCD was fixated on contamination issues, sometimes I notice myself wanting to check to make sure if my children made it into their classrooms. This strong checking urge I feel is my brain wanting to respond to an intrusive thought with a compulsion. Checking compulsions are very different from the compulsions I used to engage in. By not allowing myself the “check,” I am able to maintain my OCD recovery lifestyle.
• Lastly, start noticing if you are beginning to buy what the obsessions are trying to sell. Some examples of these attempted sells are: I really could be suicidal, I really might be going crazy, I just possibly contracted HIV, I could be a pedophile, and so on and so forth. These thoughts will perhaps seem like they are valid concerns that all people think about. However, if any of these types of thoughts are causing you great distress and are hard to shake off, they are most likely the OCD back to torture you in a different disguise.

I cannot stress enough the importance of identifying these new obsessions immediately. Early identification will enable you to resist doing the compulsions. By not doing the compulsions, you can prevent yourself from falling back into the depths of OCD.

If after reading this post, you notice that you are experiencing OCD with a different content obsession. I strongly encourage you to contact an experienced OCD therapist in your area and begin treatment.