5 Reasons We Want to Be Remembered

Have you ever wondered whether people will remember you after your death or not?

People do all sorts of things to build a legacy and to ensure that they are remembered long after they are gone. Examples include writing a biography, leaving family heirlooms to children, creating a charity in their name, and so on.

From a scientific standpoint, the puzzling question is: Why?

Why would anyone invest a substantial amount of money into a charitable foundation in their name to be remembered after death if they cannot enjoy the impact of this effort at all since they are, well, dead? Would it not make much more sense to give the money to a charity while still alive in order to actually enjoy the positive impact one is making with their donation?

A scientific article set to be published in the journal New Ideas in Psychology focuses on exactly this question (Waggoner et al., 2023). In the article, the scientists identify five main reasons why people wish to be remembered after their death.

Let us have a look at them!

1. The need to be loved

Humans are social animals, and our connections to other human beings are highly important to us. Therefore, many people spend a considerable amount of time ensuring that other people like them. The scientists point out that for some people, the wish to be remembered positively after death may simply be a psychological artifact of a strong wish to be liked by others while still alive.

2. Making life better for children and grandchildren

While being remembered positively after death may not have direct benefits for the deceased person, it may well have benefits for their offspring. The social reputation of dead family members may affect the social reputation of living members of the same family and therefore affect their success in their job, in finding a partner, and in other things.

For example, it may be harder to find a job for someone who is the son or daughter of a well-known convicted criminal. On the other hand, if a deceased parent is remembered in a very positive way by members of a community, things may be a little bit easier for their children. Thus, one reason for the wish to be remembered may be to have a positive impact on the lives of children and grandchildren.

3. Fighting death anxiety

For most people, the thought of dying is quite fearsome. Thinking too much about death may have a negative impact on mood and life satisfaction, and people may wish to develop strategies to fight death anxiety. For many religious people, believing in an immortal soul and life after death is helpful in fighting death anxiety.

Leaving a legacy, similarly, could help fight off death anxiety by granting a sense of what the scientists call “symbolic immortality.” By leaving behind something of great value, people create a memory that outlives themselves and gives them the feeling that their existence has mattered.

4. Telling a story

Another reason for the wish to be remembered after death identified by scientists is the wish to tell one’s personal story to future generations. People often see themselves as the hero or central protagonist of their life story, similar to the leading actor or actress in a movie. This life story develops over the years and helps people in understanding significant life events and challenges. Importantly, such a life story cannot only be meaningful for the person themselves but also for their children and other people.

In psychoanalysis, there is the concept of “generativity,” e.g., the wish to guide future generations. The scientists point out that generativity may also be a major reason why people want to be remembered. For example, by writing a biography, one could give moral or other advice to future generations and have a lasting positive impact, and this is a particularly positive end to one’s life story.

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5. Making it easier to imagine the future

In general, it is very difficult for people to imagine a future in which they do not exist anymore. Death results in a permanent absence of consciousness, but no one ever consciously experiences the absence of consciousness because this is impossible. By leaving a legacy behind and ensuring that other people remember them consciously, it may be easier for people to imagine the future. They can simply think about what other people still alive will think about them.

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