Is the Woman Sitting Across from You a Psychopath?

“Appearances can often be deceiving” is an apt aphorism to describe the face and overall appearance of a female psychopath. Movies, newspaper reports, and mugshots on the internet often conjure up images of psychopaths as monstrous as their actions. This is usually not the case. The female psychopath can look better than the rest of us. She is camouflage at its very best.

Source: Tracy Lundgren/Pixabay

The Eyes are Windows to the Soul

If you are to see a clue at all, you might find it in the psychopath’s eyes. But then again, this is quite difficult to see, especially when she is on the “make.” Often when people speak, we are distracted by the motions and movements of the face. Researchers suggest that the psychopath’s eyes can betray them. They have been described as intense, piercing, predatory, reptilian, hypnotic, remorseless, and an emotionless stare.^{1, 2} But chances are you may never see that. You will most likely be more influenced by what she tells you, which is completely different from what is going on in her mind.

Two Pictures of Typical Psychopaths

Psychiatrist Benjamin Karpman advanced two pictures of typical psychopaths, characterizing them as falling into two categories—aggressive predators or passive parasites.³ I have personally witnessed both types. The following descriptions are based on clinical research and my own observations.

The Passive Parasite

The female passive parasite may give the appearance of being depressed. Her face looks wan, with a colorless complexion, and her limp arms hang from sagging shoulders. Her heavy eyelids frame an expressionless gaze—a face that is neither happy nor sad. Her appearance may be disheveled, with frayed clothing, a tousled hairdo and even old, worn-out shoes. These are but a few clues.

In conversation, she might mention how she was wronged and how she comes from the school of hard knocks. Her self-deprecating remarks may seem humorous. Her helpless bearing gives a look of “poor me.” She looks harmless as her mind stirs relentlessly to see what she can get out of you and how you will serve her needs. When she is ready, she will slowly begin to bleed you. Only she knows her plan and how she will execute it.

The Aggressive Predator

The female aggressive predator already knows what she is looking for when she sets her sights on you. She has undeniable charm and may take you off guard as she strikes with vigor–she comes on strong. Her words can be soothing, soft, and convincing. Her sensuous eyes may seduce you at first glance. Her glib tongue will inundate you with her ideas and her accomplishments–she sounds invincible. She will stop at nothing and will pursue you at every end until she gets what she wants. You are her target, but you do not know it.

She is the actress putting on a show and will do whatever is most expedient to bring her the fastest results–that is, to get what she wants out of you. She may come meticulously dressed to the corporate gala and grandstand before the big shots–looking for the undeserved promotion. Or she may casually drop in to see you, wearing attention-getting clothes, like a blouse with a plunging neckline that invites you closer. She is lighthearted and ready to play. You are falling–you belong to her.

Whether passive parasite or aggressive predator, she believes she is entitled to take whatever she wants from you. After she wins, you may spot a tell-tale smirk on her face, a sign of her contemptuous delight that provides fleeting satisfaction. She knows she has used you–but she will never admit it. What has happened is you have been manipulated and exploited by a female psychopath.