When Politics Comes Between Loved Ones

Divided Times

Source: Isabella Fischer / Unsplash

I used to make light of people who skipped out on Thanksgiving or refused to attend special occasions like weddings, baby showers, or anniversaries, due to political divides among friends and family members. Now I better understand why people might have to enforce boundaries when politics enters the picture. Relationships can become tainted. When it’s a loved one, I can find myself in a predicament. Are setting some ground rules the best way to carry on?

That’s what I tried to do.

I struggled with some friendships during the last election season, and after it was over I made a conscious decision to never have conversations about things related to politics, keeping the peace in some relationships matters.

Consequently, over the last few years I didn’t come across many problems, or unnecessary contention in my relationships, but slowly echoes from the last election cycle came back to haunt me. I thought the best way to manage any rough waters would be to reiterate that under no circumstances are there to be any conversations, text messages, or any other forms of communication about politics among certain friends.

I thought potential problems could be avoided, at least that was the plan, until things began to heat up and unravel.

The no politics rule fell apart, and I was left with a decision that I didn’t want to make.

Do I block a person who can’t seem to help themselves with pushing their political convictions? Is that going to safeguard the friendship, or just make matters worse? Both options are unfortunate when my intentions are good, but is a timeout such a bad thing?

Recently I decided to take a step away by utilizing the blocked feature on my phone. When I hear that “ding” and an unwarranted text comes through, I can’t help myself. I read it then I fire back a response.

I had to rid myself of chaos that could easily set me off, which might be a selfish decision on my part, but my sanity was at stake. Am I acting juvenile, or upholding self-preservation?

The line can be wobbly and unclear.

It’s all so messy. When imposing boundaries doesn’t work are you left to temporarily cut communication off to salvage a friendship? Or, is that just going to backfire and taint a friendship in the long run?

I don’t have an answer other than what I think is the lesser of two evils, which for me was choosing to block. This decision also parlayed into monitoring myself by cutting down on the time I read, watch, or follow politics. It has been an experiment that I’m hoping I can sustain, and I have to catch myself when I fall back into bad habits of consuming way too much political ongoings across all media platforms.

Instead of pushing agendas, hopefully, I can come to a place where I can work toward what can be done to better protect relationships with others and the relationship I have with myself.

Not too long ago I went to a pilates class and was waiting for the class to start when I noticed a woman on her phone who appeared disgruntled. She set her phone down and continued to tell me her social media feeds were overwhelming her with the saturation of political news and it was disrupting her life. I told her how I was struggling with a friendship and I put someone on pause; I had to assert some discipline in my own life away from political intake as well.

It’s easy to get caught up in a web of nonstop political rhetoric that occurs daily. It’s like living in a drama-suspense-thriller-horror-comedy movie all at once. Maybe checking myself on top of blocking others who aren’t capable of adhering to established agreements will turn out to be the wrong decision. Time will only tell. In the meantime, I can gauge if it helps my overall wellness and peace of mind.

We’re living in uncharted challenging times, and it’s okay to fumble through managing your life in the upcoming months. I might not have any concrete solutions, but I do try to work toward developing resolutions.

When rules don’t work, and boundaries fall to the wayside, I’ve succumbed to blocking. At least that’s my new “plan” for now.