We Are All Leaders, Whether We Know It or Not

Source: Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

In one of my classes, students complete a unit on leadership. During this unit, they take a quick leadership survey and answer questions about their leadership styles and experiences.

The survey is by no means a validated and reliable psychometric instrument, but it’s interesting, fun, and sparks insight into their leadership approach.

The activity usually goes as expected: Every student ends up a “democratic leader.” So do I.

What shocks me every semester, however, is just how many of them say they are not and have never been leaders.

Students, and everyone else, I’m here to tell you that you are a leader.

You are a leader. You have led. You will lead.

Let that sink in. Somewhere, somehow, you have led, and you do lead.

Understandably, we tend to think of leadership in an employment context. After all, where are we most likely to have clear tasks to accomplish and a team of people paid to get those tasks done?

But we lead in so many different aspects of our lives, at so many different times in our lives. I served as faculty, for example, for a youth leadership program for high school students. This program, the Anytown Youth Leadership Institute, recognized that youth are leaders, particularly when it comes to social justice.

Did you think I’d use that as an example of how I led? No, that’s an example of how youth lead. We used to say, “Young people aren’t just the leaders of tomorrow; they are the leaders of today.”

Students Are Leaders

Source: Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Following this theme, universities aim to foster the leadership skills of students. They recognize the power of students as leaders.

Molly McLay, a therapist and doctoral student at the Brown School at Washington University in St. Louis, previously coached student leaders in violence prevention at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. She said,

One of the principles I learned and think I follow is about leading from our strengths. Part of the reason people think they’re not a good leader is because they see leadership in a narrow way. People think a leader has to have a certain stage presence, for example. But leadership can actually look a lot of different ways, and it’s all about recognizing our strengths and figuring out how we can take those strengths and use them to help and lead others.

And that’s just it, we all have leadership strengths, but we might not recognize them. As Molly explained,

Sometimes, it’s the quieter, more listening-focused leader that is what we really need. Empathy is one of my strengths and core values, and so when I am trying to lead, I do it from a place of empathy being core and that is what makes me better at leading.

My students often think that they haven't led if they haven’t been a manager. But somewhere in there, somewhere deep down, I hope they know they have.

My unit on leadership explores the difference between management and leadership. Stemming from this, students often say they haven’t ever been in “official leadership positions.” “Has anyone ever put you in charge of something?” I ask. Invariably they answer yes. That’s leadership.

Parents Are Leaders

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As any parent knows, you don’t have to have a title and salary to be in charge of something. Parents lead, don’t they? They are responsible for producing functional human beings – no small task.

There’s a reason leadership styles often mirror parenting styles. An authoritarian boss is probably an authoritarian parent and that, frankly, sounds like a nightmare, right?

People don’t often equate being a warm and responsive parent, listening to one’s child, with leadership. I do. Do parents not “translate vision into reality”? Do they not motivate their family toward a common goal?

We Are All Leaders

Maybe you’re none of the above – you haven’t been employed, a parent, or a student. I guarantee, though, that you’re still a leader. Do you go outside at all? Do you do anything in public? Do you contribute to social norms? Do you ever interact with any other human beings?

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Pamphlet reads: "Do not wait for leaders. Become them."

Source: Photo by rob walsh on Unsplash

You might not know or feel it, but I bet someone’s looking to you for guidance. If not now, they have and/or they will. Our leadership roles change as our lives change. In that sense, we’re all leaders at some point in our lives. Our leadership styles may change, too.

Having said all of this, does that mean I think everyone is a good leader? No (but I bet you are...or can be). Sure, there are people in leadership positions who don’t do it well, but does that even make them leaders?

Good leaders may not be intentional leaders, but I think an intentional leader will have a really hard time being a bad leader.

Let’s own and honor our leadership roles. Let’s acknowledge and foster our leadership strengths. Let’s lead with intent.