Creating Closure from Pain

Did you ever experience an event that was so painful even time struggled to heal the wound?

In life, there can be events that shake you to the core, influence the way you think and feel, even change a bit of who you are. What if, when negative things happen, you could paint, sing, dance; create your way through the pain?

Edward Sheffield, as played by Jake Gyllenhaal in the film Nocturnal Animals (2016) found himself in a similar position. In the process of grieving the end of his marriage with Susan Morrow (Amy Adams), he authored a novel conveying the feelings he experienced during the demise of their union. Dedicating his book to Susan, he provides a copy for her read. Within the parcel he includes a letter that states, “You left me with the inspiration to write from the heart”. Edward transforms his grief, trauma, and vicious, even murderous, emotions into a creative, “beautifully written,” according to Susan, manuscript granting him freedom from her and their marriage. The film is directed by Tom Ford.

When the Sheffield’s began to experience challenges, Edward advocated for the couple to continue to work on their alliance. Despite their frequent disagreements, he remained committed to the union. An affair that Susan engaged in marked the deterioration of their marriage and led to the divorce. Though Susan was successfully able to emotionally move forward by remarrying and having a child, it is implied that Edward struggled to resolve his feelings.

The experience of infidelity creates a “breaking of trust” (Nelson, Li, Eckstein, Ane, Mullener, 2008 p. 375) within a partnership. When pained, “all people have thoughts and emotions that they wish they did not have” (Cohen, Kim, Hudson, 2014, p. 208). It takes emotional energy to manage negative feelings and continue to function with limited interruption at work, and with family and friends. We use coping strategies and defense mechanisms, such as denial, repression, and humor, to name a few, to lessen discomfort. In order to gain closure, Edward relies on an adaptive defense mechanism: sublimation.

A savvy defense mechanism, sublimation helps people cope with uncomfortable emotions while benefiting themselves and others. It is “the process by which people take forbidden or suppressed emotions and desires and channel them toward productive, often creative ends” (Cohen et al., 2014, p. 208). By use of an artistic craft to process the feelings generated by a negative event, people gain closure, leading to a release of the difficult emotions.

It is not uncommon to hear that a singer who recently endured a breakup writes a song about the experience. Artists use their sadness and upset to place all of themselves into their art. They produce an expression of their life experience and invite audiences to share their most intense emotions and enjoy the art they observe.

Although artists may be accustomed to harnessing their feelings to create masterpieces, we nonartists can borrow their strategy and use it to manage negative feelings that inevitably arise. When hurt, dancing or picking up the laptop to write, and relying on your life experiences to inspire you, is using the healthy defense mechanism of sublimation. In doing so, one can create while finding closure, healing, and possibly discovering the artist within.