Will the Elf on the Shelf Improve Your Child's Behavior?

Throughout the month of December, many parents use an "Elf on the Shelf" or threats of Santa's nice and naughty list to keep their children’s behavior in line. According to these parents, Santa will find out (through an elf in their home that spies on the children or just omnisciently know) whether their children have been "nice" or "naughty" and will only bring presents for the "nice" children. Is this strategy effective in improving children's behavior? Are there any negative impacts from using this strategy to manage behavior?

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First, research suggests that the Elf's strategy of offering children rewards in exchange for "good" behavior is likely not an effective strategy. Research finds that tangible rewards (such as presents) that are expected (that is, promised in advance) and are not linked to performance (as is often the case for Christmas presents) are linked with decreased intrinsic, or internally driven, motivation. This means that, even if the promise of Christmas presents resulted in improved behavior for the month of December, children will be less likely to continue to choose to behave in this way after the promise of Christmas presents is removed. Put even more simply, your child could become more likely to misbehave after Christmas is over if you use this strategy.

There is also some evidence that tangible rewards may reduce kind behavior (such as sharing or helping others). Children are already naturally very motivated to engage in this kind of behavior and rewarding them for it may ultimately decrease their motivation to do so.

In addition, the Elf on the Shelf often becomes negative in practice, involving threats and shaming children for misbehavior. For example, some Elf on the Shelf kits involve an "Official Naughty Notice" that you can issue to your child when their behavior is less than desirable. This type of threat of negative consequences may also be ineffective at promoting positive behavior in children. For example, research finds that telling children a story that emphasizes the negative consequences of lying does not seem to be associated with more honesty in children.

Research also shows that expressing disappointment in children and shaming them as a disciplinary tactic may be associated with increased anxiety and aggression in children. In addition, research indicates that telling children white lies in order to regulate their behavior is associated with increased anxiety.

So what should you do instead? How can you get your children to behave during the crazy holiday season?

If you would like to reward your child’s behavior, use positive attention. Have the Elf on the Shelf point out anything your child does right rather than what they did wrong. For example, “I noticed that you shared with your brother yesterday,” or, "You did a great job getting dressed for school on your own!" There is no reason to link this observation to presents or to label your child in any way. You can also use this strategy yourself (with or without the Elf) to make it even more effective. Research shows that positive attention increases the frequency of behavior.

Use natural and logical consequences to manage your child’s challenging behavior during the holidays. Research suggests that the most effective parenting strategies for changing behavior involve logical and natural consequences rather than unrelated consequences. In other words, children are more likely to learn not to throw their Christmas cookies if you take away the cookies when they throw them rather than taking away presents 25 days later.

It is also important to mention that there is nothing wrong with having the Elf on the Shelf or Santa as part of your holiday tradition. If you remember to be careful about linking your child's behavior to presents on Christmas morning, you can feel free to create elaborate scenarios with your Elf on the Shelf, visit Santa, and even leave treats for the reindeer. Happy holidays to all!