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Misophonia

A Book About Misophonia by a Researcher Who Has Misophonia

A conversation with psychologist Jane Gregory, author of Sounds Like Misophonia.

Key points

  • Jane Gregory shares her personal and professional knowledge about misophonia.
  • She started writing her book as a personal letter to her teenage self.
  • Gregory has developed techniques for coping with the disorder.

As we move forward with misophonia research, we see new books published about this disorder. Oxford University professor Jane Gregory, a prominent misophonia researcher, has written a book about the disorder with the help of Adeel Ahmad. Perhaps, most important in Gregory's biography is that she has misophonia. While we all appreciate any research on this topic, there is something to be said when writing reflects lived experience. Here, Gregory shares the inspiration for her book, techniques she has developed for herself and others, as well as her theories about misophonia.

Brout: What motivated you to write Sounds Like Misophonia: How to Stop Small Noises from Causing Extreme Reactions?

Gregory: The book started as a letter to myself as a teenager: I wanted to tell her everything I know now that I wished I’d known then, and written in a way that she would want to keep reading.

Brout: I love how you explain misophonia in an evolutionary and neurological context. Would you tell us about how misophonia relates to meerkats and the idea of super-guards?

Gregory: Within a group of meerkats there are super-guards. Even off-duty, these meerkats will be more likely than others to tune into subtle changes in the environment and keep paying attention until they are sure there’s no danger. It makes sense that humans do this too, although tuning into a rustling packet of chips is probably less important for group survival than tuning into a rustle in the grass.

Brout: This makes so much sense. How does something that helps us survive make us suffer so much?

Gregory: Tuning into, say, footsteps behind us late at night, or a repetitive cough, can help protect us from harm. The problem with misophonia is that it can spiral. Instead of being simply more alert to possible harm, like the meerkat, our brains treat the sounds like an immediate threat and our bodies prepare to escape or go into battle. We experience that moment through the lens of disaster: we can feel attacked, uncared for, out of control, or helpless. There’s no access to logic or reason in that heightened state.

Brout: How do you help people change when misophonia is so visceral, and preserved by evolution?

Gregory: Because it’s so visceral, it’s almost impossible to change anything in the moment. But, with practice, we can teach our brains that these sounds are no more harmful than other annoying sounds. The idea is that our brains have associated these sounds with immediate threat or harm, and we need to break that association by interacting with the sound in new ways, starting with being in complete control of the sound.

Everyone’s brains work differently, and the book has several examples of how you can try this. There are more creative strategies, like doing something silly while listening to the sound, or imagining it is coming from a different source. I once rode a spinning teacup ride while listening to an audio of my husband slurping his tea, and visualized a broom when listening to sniffing. More practical strategies might be labeling the physical properties of a sound or playing around with volume and speed. These are things you practice outside of real trigger situations, to help your brain make new associations with the sounds.

Brout: You talk about cognitive behavioral therapy, CBT, as a technique to better understand our thoughts about misophonia, but you also address how adults may perceive their early experiences of misophonia. What is the Inner Miso Child and how does this help individuals respond differently to triggers? This seems less like CBT than processing trauma.

Gregory: This involves a technique called imagery rescripting, or memory reconsolidation, which is being increasingly used in CBT and is a core feature of trauma-focused CBT. When we naturally revisit an old memory, we instinctively update it from our current perspective and then store it back in long-term memory. But some memories get sort of frozen in time, and reminders of them can lead us to feel like we did back in that moment. We may not even realize the moment is linked to a past experience. Imagery rescripting helps us update those memories.

Brout: Please share an example.

Gregory: For me, I was feeling like I might snap and do something aggressive when I was stuck in a situation where I couldn’t escape a particular sound. I traced it back to a moment as a child when I had acted uncharacteristically aggressive. I didn’t know about misophonia, and I thought it meant that I could snap for no reason. As an adult, my inner miso child still felt like that was true. With imagery rescripting, I connected back to that moment, comforted myself as a child, and gave her the information about misophonia she needed at the time. It didn’t change how I felt about the sound in the present, but I no longer felt like I would snap and lose control.

Brout Thank you for sharing your experiences and for all the work that you are doing. I know that many people with misophonia will benefit from your work.

References

Sounds Like Misophonia: How to Stop Small Noises from Causing Extreme Reactions? By Jane Gregory, Ph.D.

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