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Key points
- Transitions are inevitable and part of growth.
- During a significant change, mantras can help you cope with painful thoughts and feelings.
- It is vital to be compassionate to yourself while moving into a new phase of life.
- While challenging, navigating transitions can bring growth, stronger relationships, and increased confidence.
Over the course of your life, you’ll meet many different versions of yourself. You are constantly going through transitions as they are integral parts of your growth and development.
Some transitions are gradual; others are abrupt. Growth can be painful, and major life transitions aren’t always easy. Life changes that are out of your control can feel traumatic or lead to depression, anger, or grief. Even when a transition isn’t wholly negative, not knowing what comes next can be agonizing, anxiety-provoking, and stressful. It’s common to feel unmoored or unsafe as you adjust to something you know little about.
How can you stay grounded while navigating a big change? Here are some helpful mindsets to adopt:
1. You are starting again, not starting over.
Seeing yourself as “starting over” may inadvertently give you the sense that you’re erasing the previous versions of life you have lived. Reframing it as “starting again” can allow you to hold space for all the progress you have made, knowledge you have gained, and meaningful experiences you have had. You get to use these tools as guidance for the different paths you want or need to go down.
If you suddenly decide to change your destination five hours into a road trip, that doesn’t mean you need to drive back to your starting point. You need to stop the car, look up your next destination, and head in a new direction. You are rerouting your journey, and all of your history is along for the ride. It’s a new chapter, not a new story.
2. You can do difficult things.
How often have you told yourself, “I can’t do X,” and then do it anyway? If you answered “a lot,” you might be a lot more capable than you realize.
Difficult is not synonymous with impossible, even if it often feels that way. Humans are incredibly adaptable, and for better or for worse, the only way to get stronger is to keep pushing the level of difficulty. This is true for both physical strength and mental fortitude. You have survived 100 percent of your most difficult days thus far, so the evidence of your capability is there. And when you hit a wall, there are tools, techniques, resources, and support; you don’t need to figure everything out all on your own.
3. Struggling doesn’t mean failing.
There are going to be rough days during a period of transition. You may sob, accidentally get short with someone, get incredibly distracted by worries, and so on. These experiences don’t mean you failed; they mean you’re a human being having a hard time.
The line from point A to point B is anything but straight. If you’re even just staying afloat during a difficult transition, that shows that you’re fighting through adversity. You are hanging on even though it’s hard and putting in the work to get better, even though it can be mentally, emotionally, and physically taxing. Perfection is not an attainable standard, especially when building and navigating a new version of life while continuing to tend to all your other responsibilities.
4. Even if a transition is long, it’s always temporary.
Every minute of every day that you are struggling can feel endless. It’s normal to feel stuck and wonder if you’ll ever get to where you want to be or if the “light at the end of the tunnel” actually exists.
The light may be far away right now, but it is there waiting for you. The impetus for your life change could be something permanent, such as losing a loved one, graduating college, or getting diagnosed with a chronic health condition, but it won’t always feel the same way it feels today. You’ll get better at handling it, understand it more, and find a way to allow space for it, albeit sometimes reluctantly, and you’ll get to a point where you have greater bandwidth to do the things you enjoy.
5. Your feelings are always valid.
Whether you are initiating a big life change or the universe has forced one upon you, you will feel various emotions, many of them painful. The goal should never be to eradicate all of your undesired emotions. Uncomfortable feelings are a part of life. Accepting that does not mean you have to like your difficult emotions; it just means you allow them to be there.
Don’t think of your emotions as something to “get over.” “Getting over” implies that one day, you should stop being affected by what you’ve gone through. While coping with these feelings in appropriate, healthy, and safe ways is important, you can always feel them. When these emotions arise throughout your transition, you can meet them with compassion instead of judgment.
Conclusion
While navigating and adjusting to a life transition can be arduous, it can also be fulfilling and rewarding. That doesn’t mean the reason for the transition is always a desired one, but it means that the process of strengthening yourself and getting better at handling tough times pays off.
Those rewards benefit your relationship with yourself and others. They help you push yourself outside your comfort zone in an effort to try something new. They carry you through life with more confidence in yourself. One day, your future self will look back with pride on how you got through this transition. You got this.
