Personal Propaganda

Source: Ozan Çulha / Pexels

"I meant to call you but didn't have time!" "I absolutely cannot afford a gym membership or a personal trainer!" "I'm not sure I have enough money to afford a babysitter." There is nothing I could have done about it!" "No way can I find the time for lunch."

We all hear ourselves say these and many similar statements from time to time. Beliefs like the ones above are uttered with great certainty and are often the very ways in which we defeat ourselves and deny ourselves a more satisfying and fulfilling way of life. I refer to these oft-heard declarations as "personal propaganda." When I am able to be sufficiently self-aware and insightful in my own life, I try to challenge myself when I hear myself say, for example, "I don't have the time to work on that article," or "I'm much too busy to attend that conference."

As someone in the position of helping others, I frequently hear examples of such firmly held beliefs and find myself attempting to determine whether I am listening to self-defeating propaganda or whether there is a legitimate basis for the belief. The answer is often immediately obvious. The person who could not afford a gym membership ($85 per month) is a wine expert who thinks nothing of uncorking a $200 bottle of his latest acquisition at dinner with friends. It is easy to observe, in this case, how one's values and preferences often guide judgment and beliefs about what is or is not affordable. Similarly, the patient who tried to convince me that there was "no way" he could afford to travel to a relative's wedding on the West Coast recently made a significant addition to his art collection. The examples are endless.

Two other common areas of trouble for those who say they don't have enough time are adequate sleep and healthy eating. So many of the symptoms or problems reported by sleep-deprived people would be eliminated—or at least eased—by getting more rest. Too often, however, the claim is that there is not enough time for that. This particular assertion is often traceable to the belief that sleep is a "waste of time" during which nothing productive or meaningful takes place. Similarly, busy people are often heard to justify poor eating or not eating at all because of the extraordinary demands of a job that leaves no time for proper meals.

Perhaps by becoming more self-aware of our own "personal propaganda," we might have a better opportunity to challenge some of our self-defeating behaviors successfully.