My Midlife Superpower

There’s no point trying to catch up with me at noon or 5 pm. Odds are, I’ll be out for a walk in the forest. You see, I’ve pretty much structured my life around these two 30-minute walks in nature: one right before lunch, the other right before dinner. While some might find this schedule constraining, I find it liberating: I never have to think about if or when I’ll be going for a walk. I already know. And taking these walks is a nice thing I do for myself: a way I practice self-compassion.

From couch potato to fitness enthusiast

Here's something you need to know about me, just in case you mistakenly assume that you’ve stumbled upon the musings of a life-long fitness enthusiast: I spent entire decades of my life being completely sedentary. It wasn’t until I found myself approaching a milestone birthday—my 50th—that I realized I needed to start taking my physical health a lot more seriously.

This is the downside to being a person with a job that requires a lot of thinking (that job, in my case, being writing): it’s easy to overlook the fact that there’s more to your body than just your brain. What I didn’t understand until I started being physically active on a regular basis is that taking care of my body is also a way of taking care of my brain: that physical activity reaps as many mental health dividends as physical health dividends.

Sure, there are days I don’t feel like going for a walk. Maybe it’s raining or snowing; maybe I’m feeling tired or stressed; maybe I’ve convinced myself I can’t afford the time, for whatever reason. But then I remind myself that going out for a walk will be time well spent indeed, reaping tremendous dividends in terms of how well I sleep, how happy I feel, and the quality of work I’m able to produce when I sit down at my desk again. I remind myself that walking is something I get to do, not something I have to do. Nine times out of ten, I end up convincing myself to lace up my hiking boots and walk out the door.

Here's why I’m sharing this story with you. I want to let you in on a secret—that secret being that being physically active on a regular basis can improve your life in far-reaching ways. As it turned out, physical activity was the piece of the health puzzle that I’d been missing for decades as I struggled to tame my anxiety, boost my mood, and increase my energy level.

Thanks to my twice-daily walks, I no longer need to rely on two gigantic cups of coffee to jumpstart my day—or a bottle of wine to help me wind down. I’m sleeping better at night and my mood and energy level are much more stable. I’m also at the top of my game writing-wise, both in terms of the quality of the work I’m capable of producing and the degree of focus I’m able to sustain.

If only younger me had known that it wasn’t necessary (or productive) to try to burn the candle at both ends and that I’d not only feel better but I’d be capable of producing more and better work if I gave my body what it actually needed: more sleep, more physical activity, and regular time off.

If only I had understood the benefits of practicing self-compassion.

The key ingredient in my midlife health transformation

I first learned about self-compassion roughly a decade ago, when I was trying to come back from a deep and prolonged period of burnout. I read Kristin Neff’s groundbreaking book, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself, and something inside me shifted. For the first time ever, I was able to silence the self-critical voice in my head and start being as kind to myself as I was to others.

Apparently, my midlife shift towards self-compassion is anything but unique. According to Neff, people tend to become more self-compassionate as they grow older. As she noted in a recent article, “The wisdom that comes from maturity and experience allows for a kinder and more balanced stance toward oneself that recognizes the shared nature of human suffering, just as the ability to relate to life difficulties and to personal imperfection with compassion enhances life satisfaction and acceptance.”

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Learning about self-compassion has been life-changing for me.

I hope it will be for you, too.