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Key points
- Two things that can greatly improve our lives are engaging in the here and now and seeing life as play rather than work.
- As we develop the skill of being present, we will become happy. We realize that happiness dwells in the “here and now.”
- Being patient when things are frustrating will help transform life into play and less work.
What is the secret to a happy life? If you knew what that secret was, could you focus on that? Wouldn’t that be wonderful!
If you think about successful people, they have one thing in common: they are great at something. Happy people are good at being happy.
While it may not always be easy, focusing on just two things can greatly improve our lives.
- Engage in the “here and now.”
- See life as play instead of work.
We will have a good life if we do these two things constantly. Though the concepts are easy to understand, actually doing them may be troublesome.
We don’t think of the “here and now” when thinking of the future or dwelling on the past. This is where the trouble comes. If our minds are in the past or future, we’re not here right now.
In athletics, people think about their past mistakes or think about what they can improve in the future. It’s rare in this area to be in the “here and now.” A term for this rare place is being in the “zone.” When we study athletes claiming to be in the “zone,” they focus on the “here and now.”
Why is it so difficult to be present?
As we navigate life, good things happen, like enjoying delicious foods and falling in love. This creates memories, and we want to repeat this. We start to think about making money to return to destinations we enjoyed in the past. We look for ways to retire or inherit a lot of money, so we never have to work again. Our desires create in us discontent for the “here and now.” We want the glory of past days and past desires.
Along the way, bad things happen. We may fall in love and then break up. Our hearts are devasted. We may fail at something, like a sporting event, and we are mocked or ridiculed. We remember this, and so we spend lots of time trying to prevent this from happening again. We may become consumed in fear and anxiety. We experience fear, desires, worries, and lust.
In the process of all this frustration, we are no longer in the “here and now.” We miss out on all the beauty around us. We are trying to control reality, and we really have little control over life. And although we sometimes win by controlling circumstances, often we do not.
Ways to Engage in the “Here and Now”
Pay attention. What are we thinking about? Are we thinking of the past or worrying about whether someone likes us? All the adjectives affect given qualifiers about what’s happening–not being what’s happening, but critiquing it. All the thoughts that intrude on being here and now include dwelling in the past, worrying about what someone else thinks, or worrying about the future.
When we realize we’re not fully engaged in the “here and now,” we take a deep breath and re-center our focus. We can do this throughout the day. Notice this: when we’re driving, are we truly paying attention? When we’re talking to someone, are we listening, or when we’re eating, are we truly savoring the food, fully engaged with our senses?
It’s all about being present. We can have thoughts, engagements, and philosophical reflections, but the commentary is different.
Other Techniques
We must learn how to meditate. Meditation will teach us about what’s truly going on inside. When we enter this state, we pay attention to our breath and are with our thoughts. The goal is to quiet those thoughts. Although we may not be able to stop our thoughts from coming, we don’t have to give them all the attention. As we get better at meditating, then we can begin to live a meditative life throughout the day.
Being in the “here and now” throughout the day is possible. It just takes work.
Be creative and appreciate art. Stand before a painting and let everything inside the painting rise up within you, your emotions. Let it flow, and don’t try to control it. Don’t try to critique the painting. Just feel it.
If you love being in nature, stand in the wind, feel the sun on your face, and listen to the birds. Just feel and listen. Be present. And as you go throughout the day, engaging in various things, ask yourself regularly, “Am I present in the here and now?”
As we develop the skill of being present, we will become happy. We will realize that happiness dwells in the “here and now.”
See Life as Play and Not Work
For one person, going to the gym and working out can be something exciting. For others, going to the gym sounds like work and exhausting, and they stay away from that. And when they have to do physical things, like grocery shopping, they park as close as they can to the door to avoid walking far. They avoid life instead of engaging in whatever life brings. Sometimes we must sit for long periods of time, like on a plane.
There are those, however, who, no matter what life brings, can see it as play and fully engage in these circumstances. If you interview 100 teachers, you will find at least one who loves teaching. This is true for nurses, salespeople, etc.
And in our daily lives, when we are stuck in long lines, we find people who are talking to others and having a good time, although they have to wait. This is true with doing laundry, cleaning, or cooking, as well.
If we’re working really hard to buy a car to impress others, then life is more work than play. Playing is doing things throughout the day, seeing how much money we make, and then doing what we can afford. If we do a job we hate, we’re not playing.
If we have a job that we love, but it’s challenging, how can we make it better? We can get to know our coworkers, be thankful for our salaries, and so many other ways to see our challenges differently. A key to a successful but happy life is to see life as playful.
Being patient when things are frustrating will also help transform life into play and less work. For instance, being in traffic is a challenge to patience, but when we work on making the best of it, the frustration decreases. When waiting in traffic, you can listen to good music or a good audiobook.
A Happy Life Isn’t Hard to Attain
We can have a happy life. The first step is to do these two things: Engage in the “here and now” and see life as play, not as work. Let’s truly create beautiful lives.
