Is Self-Loathing an "All-or-Nothing" Proposition?

Several comments to my post on "The Single Self-Loather" were incredibly insightful, and forced me to think about self-loathing in new ways. For instance, Ashley wrote, "Perhaps I still don't grasp what a self-loather actually is—if there is a precise definition. Is it a global self-loathing (i.e. you hate everything about yourself with no redeeming quality)—or are there just some things that you find loathe-worthy which you feel devalues the entire person?" To which Jo replied: "Maybe this reflects the difference between self-esteem and self-worth, the first being more 'situational'... and the other related to your basic worth as a human being? Personally, I have achieved good academic results and 'succeeded' in some important areas, but while I recognize that I am a good student and have academic abilities (and, as such, have at least some self-esteem in certain areas), the feeling of being a bad PERSON pretty much remains the same (i.e. low self-worth)."

As I mulled over these comments, they began to invoke two issues that arise in virtue ethics: the unity of virtues and their variability across situations (or the situationist critique). Before we begin, please understand that I'm not saying that self-loathing is a virtue, though a person can be a "virtuous self-loather" by dealing with other people in a virtuous way despite his or her self-reagrding issues (as described in my last post). All I mean is that there are similar ways in which self-loathing and the virtues are be described or understood, and that claims about the unity of the virtues and the situationist critique have some implications about the nature of self-loathing, which I want to explore.

The unity of the virtues is the claim that possessing one positive character trait necessarily implies possessing all of them. According to this position—which many virtue theorists share, though in vastly different forms—one cannot be truly honest, for example, without also being kind, courageous, and so forth. In other words, there is something essential to being a virtuous person which underlies having the individual virtues, and without that one central, basic thing, you can't be truly virtuous in any specific ways.

Both comments quoted above made me think of self-loathing in similar terms. Does self-loathing imply that you must regard every facet of yourself as inferior, or can you have good opinions of some aspects of yourself and still feel inadequate overall?

I think the answer to this depends on how we understand the nature of self-loathing itself. As I understand it, self-loathing reflects a radical devaluation of one's overall character—in effect, a denial of one's virtues. A self-loathing person considers him- or herself a "bad person," unworthy of concern or love, presumably because the virtues—the good character or personality traits that would justify concern and love—are missing. But do these virtues have to be lacking completely or can some exist and others not? (Never mind the issue of whether one can possess a virtue "partially"—is some kindness better than none, or is halfhearted kindness no real kindness at all? That's a whole other can of worms.)

For some people, feeling like a "bad person" implies a complete lack of any virtues at all. In this view, if a good or virtuous person embodies the unity of virtues, a bad (but not evil) person embodies the unity of lack of virtue. (I'm being careful here not to invoke the opposite of virtue, which would be vice—a self-loathing person can consider herself to be bad in the sense of inadequate or worthy without thinking herself evil.) This is the easiest way to account for self-loathing: obviously, if a person feels he lacks any redeeming qualities at all, he is very likely to loathe himself utterly and completely. If this turns out to be the best way to understand self-loathing, in a backwards sort of way it may also be a supporting argument for the unity of virtues: they're a package deal, and you either have them all or you have none of them.

Is Jo being inconsistent or insincere when she claims to acknowledge her academic success but then downplays her overall quality as a person? Perhaps she does not regard her academic success as reflecting any moral virtue, giving most of the credit to her inborn intelligence or luck rather than her own dedication and perseverance. We may disagree with this judgment, of course, but this would not make her insincere—just modest. More likely, though, she recognizes these positive character traits but does not consider them as important as the other virtues she feels she lacks. This view, however, speaks against the unity of the virtues (or lack thereof), since this position does not usually distinguish between more and less important character traits, simply claiming that they're all connected. The possibility of someone like Jo recognizing good and bad things about herself implies that her virtues are not unified, that some exist within her while others don't, and that her feelings of inadequacy result from weighing the good and bad against each other—and possibly ranking some, presumably the ones she feels she lacks, as more important—and coming up short overall.

This also suggests a way to combat self-loathing: changing the way you assess your own virtues and lack thereof. If you're a self-loathing individual, besides assessing yourself too harshly, you are likely also overemphasizing the traits in which you feel you fall short—judging those, perhaps not coincidentally, to be the most important ones—and underemphasizing the ones in which you may feel you shine. This may not get to the heart of your predisposition to see yourself in a negative light, but it may help you to remember the ways in which you are a good person, and help you improve your overall self-evaluation.

Next time, I'll discuss the parallels between self-loathing and the situationistic critique of virtue theory: Is self-loathing always the same, or can it vary according to the situation in which it arises?

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For a list of my previous Psychology Today posts on self-loathing (and other topics), see here.

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