7 Ways to Beat Stress and Prevent a Love Quarrel

In all of our lives, the world can turn upside down. What we thought would be simple and routine turns into the insurmountable. Eventually little annoyances take us to the brink and spilled milk becomes one of those hysterical break-down moments that culminate in a love quarrel.

And oftentimes it is because of expectations. I did something that made me happy and excited to do and I didn't get the response I was hoping for—forgetting that I was doing it as much for me as for him. What did I wish in return? I don't even know exactly, maybe nothing, but it was just one of those spilled milk kind of weeks.

The short trip that took hours

It started out with a spur of the moment train ride to visit someone. I missed the first train and spent an hour fighting off pigeons at the station trying to shield my head and my book from the annoying flock.

By the time the next train arrived, I was already stressed and behind on a schedule in which I would try to accomplish five tasks in five hours. The short ride turned into one endless delay for a rather sad and harrowing reason. Someone needed medical assistance.

The fire department arrived immediately—but they were on the wrong side of the tracks and we watched—and waited—as they crossed the highway to the Southbound side. When the ambulance was summoned, the same scenario ensued until the woman was taken alone to the hospital.

The gift of waiting

I thought a lot about that stranger. Would someone meet her to the hospital? Did she have family? Would she remember what had happened to her? For a time, her life would stand still. And in my too busy, hurry up world, I would glace repeatedly at the time to see just how late I would be getting to my destination.

Then as the siren screeched away, I realized that I had missed something in the delay. Each of those moments were really little gifts that I might have used to calm my spirit and send positive thoughts to the women in distress.

7 Ways to Slow Down and Beat Stress

1. Practice time management realistically and remember nothing takes a minute or even an hour.
2. Set priorities. Decide what is most important for you to accomplish in an eight hour period.
3. Take minute vacations. Stop throughout the day to smell the roses, to take a walk, to gaze at the sunshine or clouds.
4. Clear your mind of negative thoughts that weigh you down, especially past hurts—these are millstones around your neck.
5. Express gratitude in a note, a phone call, a visit. Think of one person who deserves a note from you and jot it off immediately. And if you don't have stationery—send an email—but follow it with a real note.
6. Search through photos that bring a smile to your face.
7. Stop and think about someone you love and wish blessings and happiness. (It will help to build up a reserve of joy so that when you do find something exasperating happening, you can reach inside and smile at his presence. And yes, sometimes I forget to practice what I preach.)

The photograph that smiles

With all of the photos that friends share, every once in a while a snap shot shines that makes us stop and think to be grateful. In my case, someone whom I envision as hot and sexy—but who nonetheless found a way to turn up the volume on the Italian in me that day—sent me the ultimate in one of those "life-affirming treasures," a photo holding his grandchild.

None of us are old enough for grandchildren! And when we see a grandchild with a contemporary we realize that we are no longer children even though we all sometimes act as if we are 16, which feels so good!

As I looked at the photo I noticed a striking feature. The face of this adult reflected the glow of the child. And yes, I stopped to smile.

Copyright 2011 Rita Watson/ All Rights Reserved

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Four Steps to Unconditional Love via Laughter and Forgiveness

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