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Life Gets Better

The unexpected pleasures of growing older.

Sport and Competition
The Comparison Trap

Wendy Lustbader M.S.W. on August 12, 2019

Something good happens when we catch ourselves doing comparisons and stop. We create an interlude of relief where we let ourselves be. The depth of the relief is instructive.

Something good happens when we catch ourselves doing comparisons and stop. We create an interlude of relief where we let ourselves be. The depth of the relief is instructive.

Anxiety
Getting to Square One

Wendy Lustbader M.S.W. on May 18, 2019

The energy of anxiety can be a valuable inducement to change. But if we get stoned into daily comfort, why would we do anything differently?

The energy of anxiety can be a valuable inducement to change. But if we get stoned into daily comfort, why would we do anything differently?

Child Development
Fair Fighting: Why Should We Try?

Wendy Lustbader M.S.W. on February 24, 2019

It is tempting to try to cause hurt, to let loose, yell, and hurl insults, but what's left in the aftermath? Fair fighting pays off in so many ways.

It is tempting to try to cause hurt, to let loose, yell, and hurl insults, but what's left in the aftermath? Fair fighting pays off in so many ways.

Attention
What Are You Feeling?

Wendy Lustbader M.S.W. on December 3, 2018

The ability to put words to feelings isn’t a simple matter. Even recognizing what you are feeling can be difficult. But looking inward leads to better relationships all around.

The ability to put words to feelings isn’t a simple matter. Even recognizing what you are feeling can be difficult. But looking inward leads to better relationships all around.

Alcoholism
F*ck It

Wendy Lustbader M.S.W. on June 22, 2018

The expletive leaves our lips when we are about to do something we know we shouldn't, and then we summon our justifications.

The expletive leaves our lips when we are about to do something we know we shouldn't, and then we summon our justifications.

Diet
Breaking Up With Food

Wendy Lustbader M.S.W. on December 23, 2017

I knew it had to be a permanent separation. This was going to have to be a deep emotional break-up, a rift that would last the rest of my life.

I knew it had to be a permanent separation. This was going to have to be a deep emotional break-up, a rift that would last the rest of my life.

Confidence
The Weight of the World

Wendy Lustbader M.S.W. on September 24, 2017

We are not helpless.There is power in the collective will to survive and make life good for those who come after us.

We are not helpless.There is power in the collective will to survive and make life good for those who come after us.

Anger
Driving Like a Tibetan Monk

Wendy Lustbader M.S.W. on June 26, 2017

When cheaters cut in and aggressive drivers have their way, I go wild. I get agitated and yell expletives. But there is another way to react, and I am trying to get there.

When cheaters cut in and aggressive drivers have their way, I go wild. I get agitated and yell expletives. But there is another way to react, and I am trying to get there.

Identity
The Woman Who Does it All

Wendy Lustbader M.S.W. on March 26, 2017

Women seem to hold up the world. Is this an identity, a self-created fate, or a default position when men in our lives do less than their share?

Women seem to hold up the world. Is this an identity, a self-created fate, or a default position when men in our lives do less than their share?

Relationships
Intimacy is Heaven and Hell

Wendy Lustbader M.S.W. on December 25, 2016

The aspect of a partner that most hurts us and drives us into a frenzy is the part that most cries out for our compassion. This is what intimacy is really about.

The aspect of a partner that most hurts us and drives us into a frenzy is the part that most cries out for our compassion. This is what intimacy is really about.

Procrastination
I'll Do It Tomorrow

Wendy Lustbader M.S.W. on November 4, 2016

Strategies of avoidance can come to dominate our lives, but there are ways to induce ourselves to get things done instead of putting things off in an endless cycle.

Strategies of avoidance can come to dominate our lives, but there are ways to induce ourselves to get things done instead of putting things off in an endless cycle.

Confidence
When You Don't Know What to Say

Wendy Lustbader M.S.W. on August 3, 2016

Often we don't phone or visit when a loved one is ill or grieving because we don't know what to say and dread our awkwardness—then we feel guilty about our silence and inaction.

Often we don't phone or visit when a loved one is ill or grieving because we don't know what to say and dread our awkwardness—then we feel guilty about our silence and inaction.

Bullying
Your Worst Enemy

Wendy Lustbader M.S.W. on May 6, 2016

We make our own misery. Life is hard enough, but we make things worse by exaggerating our failings and piling up proof of our deficiencies.

We make our own misery. Life is hard enough, but we make things worse by exaggerating our failings and piling up proof of our deficiencies.

Attention
It's About Time

Wendy Lustbader M.S.W. on November 8, 2015

Rushing around is not a good way to live. We know this, yet we keep cramming in tasks and commitments as if we have no choice. It seems like there just aren’t enough hours in the day for everything we have to do. The irony is cruel – that such relentless pushing to get things done usually doesn’t add up to a day well spent.

Rushing around is not a good way to live. We know this, yet we keep cramming in tasks and commitments as if we have no choice. It seems like there just aren’t enough hours in the day for everything we have to do. The irony is cruel – that such relentless pushing to get things done usually doesn’t add up to a day well spent.

Career
What Should I Do With My Life?

Wendy Lustbader M.S.W. on August 18, 2015

This question can give us heartache, whether we are in our twenties or sixties. Having no idea what to do next hurts, even as it might excite us on some level. Whether graduating from college or retiring from a long career, the road ahead may seem intimidating in its blankness. Freedom is supposed to be so desirable, yet its reality is often heavy with perplexing dilemmas.

This question can give us heartache, whether we are in our twenties or sixties. Having no idea what to do next hurts, even as it might excite us on some level. Whether graduating from college or retiring from a long career, the road ahead may seem intimidating in its blankness. Freedom is supposed to be so desirable, yet its reality is often heavy with perplexing dilemmas.