Verified by Psychology Today

Lessons for Loving

Practical wisdom on love, relationships and marriage

Stress
Why Is Estrangement So Painful?

Karl Pillemer Ph.D. on November 20, 2020

Why is family estrangement so painful? New research identifies four key threats to well-being posed by a family rift.

Why is family estrangement so painful? New research identifies four key threats to well-being posed by a family rift.

Forgiveness
Are You Ready to Reconcile?

Karl Pillemer Ph.D. on October 26, 2020

Wondering whether this might be the time to reach out to an estranged relative? Here are four pieces of advice from people who have successfully reconciled.

Wondering whether this might be the time to reach out to an estranged relative? Here are four pieces of advice from people who have successfully reconciled.

Media
A Key to Harry and Meghan's Estrangement

Karl Pillemer Ph.D. on August 6, 2020

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's estrangement from the royal family is puzzling to many. However, research on the causes of estrangement suggests one powerful factor.

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's estrangement from the royal family is puzzling to many. However, research on the causes of estrangement suggests one powerful factor.

Career
The Shortcut to Finding Your Purpose in Life

Karl Pillemer Ph.D. on April 4, 2016

Finding a purpose or direction in life has become a challenge for many people (young and not-so-young). One solution is simpler than it seems: Interview your future self.

Finding a purpose or direction in life has become a challenge for many people (young and not-so-young). One solution is simpler than it seems: Interview your future self.

Marriage
4 Great (and Quick) Relationship Hacks

Karl Pillemer Ph.D. on February 10, 2016

Feel like your relationship is going stale? Here's some advice for people who've been through the relationship doldrums.

Feel like your relationship is going stale? Here's some advice for people who've been through the relationship doldrums.

Career
The Boomers, the "Old-Old," and In-Between: Four New Takes

Karl Pillemer Ph.D. on October 24, 2015

A sabbatical equals time to read - so I've been making up for lost time binge-reading all those books on aging I should have been reading. If you are behind like me, here are four suggestions that show the range of writing on successful aging (and how to get there).

A sabbatical equals time to read - so I've been making up for lost time binge-reading all those books on aging I should have been reading. If you are behind like me, here are four suggestions that show the range of writing on successful aging (and how to get there).

Marriage
Why the Most Successful Couples Stay Together

Karl Pillemer Ph.D. on March 28, 2015

Despite dire media reports, most young people want to get married - and stay married for life. A study of long-married elders offers advice on the role of commitment throughout a long relationship.

Despite dire media reports, most young people want to get married - and stay married for life. A study of long-married elders offers advice on the role of commitment throughout a long relationship.

Small gifts in marriage
Marriage
The 3 Best Gifts You Can Give Your Partner

Karl Pillemer Ph.D. on February 10, 2015

We often focus on big-ticket gifts in our romantic relationships. But surveys of long-married couples show the importance of "thinking small"—focusing on small, positive actions routinely in a relationship. It's those continual, loving gestures that lead to a long and satisfying relationship.

We often focus on big-ticket gifts in our romantic relationships. But surveys of long-married couples show the importance of "thinking small"—focusing on small, positive actions routinely in a relationship. It's those continual, loving gestures that lead to a long and satisfying relationship.

Marriage
What Can You Change About Your Partner?

Karl Pillemer Ph.D. on December 30, 2014

According to long-married people, there's a dangerous and false assumption many people make: that they can force their partner to change. The elders suggest that giving up that usually impossible goal is the key to a better relationship.

According to long-married people, there's a dangerous and false assumption many people make: that they can force their partner to change. The elders suggest that giving up that usually impossible goal is the key to a better relationship.