Verified by Psychology Today

Journey to Healing

Confessions of a replacement child

Self-Talk
Learning to Mute the Negative Voices Within

Barbara A Jaffe Ed.D. on October 16, 2024

Personal Perspective: Here's how to replace those negative inner voices with healthier, more productive ones instead of letting them define you.

Personal Perspective: Here's how to replace those negative inner voices with healthier, more productive ones instead of letting them define you.

Beauty is in eating an ice cream cone just like this!
Beauty
We Discover Beauty When We Pay Attention

Barbara A Jaffe Ed.D. on August 20, 2024

Personal Perspective: We can find beauty on a daily basis, within a conversation with little ones, with our furry loved ones, and within our memory banks.

Personal Perspective: We can find beauty on a daily basis, within a conversation with little ones, with our furry loved ones, and within our memory banks.

The author with her book
Family Dynamics
My Replacement Child Legacy and Additional Research

Barbara A Jaffe Ed.D. on July 5, 2024

Why were there pictures of a toddler throughout the house, yet we weren’t permitted to talk about him or ask questions? Why did my mother stay in bed for hours, so exhausted?

Why were there pictures of a toddler throughout the house, yet we weren’t permitted to talk about him or ask questions? Why did my mother stay in bed for hours, so exhausted?

The author with her morning cup of coffee
Family Dynamics
Coffee-Infused Memories

Barbara A Jaffe Ed.D. on May 13, 2024

A Personal Perspective: So many childhood recollections began and ended with my father’s coffee and his teaching me to love this beverage.

A Personal Perspective: So many childhood recollections began and ended with my father’s coffee and his teaching me to love this beverage.

Mom, Dad, Nana Bea and baby Michael (the author's oldest son). circa 4/81
Empathy
Conversations With My Younger Self

Barbara A Jaffe Ed.D. on March 3, 2024

Personal Perspective: The gift of years enables me to look at the past with understanding, acceptance, and ultimately joy.

Personal Perspective: The gift of years enables me to look at the past with understanding, acceptance, and ultimately joy.

Happiness
Contentment Is a Point of View

Barbara A Jaffe Ed.D. on October 27, 2023

A Personal Perspective: In Zimbabwe, I was reminded gratefully, yet again, to recalibrate and appreciate the basics of my life: family, friends, love, food, and sunshine.

A Personal Perspective: In Zimbabwe, I was reminded gratefully, yet again, to recalibrate and appreciate the basics of my life: family, friends, love, food, and sunshine.

Attention
Because I Paid Attention, I Learned

Barbara A Jaffe Ed.D. on August 12, 2023

A Personal Perspective: Paying attention to those around me and what they say, and do not say, has ultimately enriched my life.

A Personal Perspective: Paying attention to those around me and what they say, and do not say, has ultimately enriched my life.

Molly, the kindest of souls
Empathy
Consideration, Compassion, Kindness, and Empathy

Barbara A Jaffe Ed.D. on February 18, 2023

A Personal Perspective: My actions of kindness and compassion are not for brownie points but for understanding that these qualities and actions add joy to my and others' lives.

A Personal Perspective: My actions of kindness and compassion are not for brownie points but for understanding that these qualities and actions add joy to my and others' lives.

Cole's first dandelion
Gratitude
What Our Pets and Little Ones Can Teach Us

Barbara A Jaffe Ed.D. on December 3, 2022

A Personal Perspective: My little ones and furry one wake up intuitively expecting a marvelous day, and they help guide me back to joy.

A Personal Perspective: My little ones and furry one wake up intuitively expecting a marvelous day, and they help guide me back to joy.

The author and her mother, 2007
Career
My Mother's World: Her King Sized Bed

Barbara A Jaffe Ed.D. on July 21, 2022

A Personal Perspective: I adjusted my young life to many prone activities, and all of this became normal; a level of warmth and comfort enveloped me as I lay on her bed.

A Personal Perspective: I adjusted my young life to many prone activities, and all of this became normal; a level of warmth and comfort enveloped me as I lay on her bed.

The author and her husband Paul
Gratitude
Attitude and Gratitude Are My Focus

Barbara A Jaffe Ed.D. on May 12, 2022

A Personal Perspective: With every passing year, my outlook is that of gentle acceptance. When out of focus, I remind myself about my attitude and gratitude.

A Personal Perspective: With every passing year, my outlook is that of gentle acceptance. When out of focus, I remind myself about my attitude and gratitude.

Some of Marilyn's kitchen gifts
Friends
My Friend Taught Me, and I Listened

Barbara A Jaffe Ed.D. on February 28, 2022

My friend Marilyn has been gone for six months, but she continues to guide me in awe-inspiring ways through my countless memories and daily thoughts of her.

My friend Marilyn has been gone for six months, but she continues to guide me in awe-inspiring ways through my countless memories and daily thoughts of her.

Molly and her human
Cognition
The Comforting Language of Dog

Barbara A Jaffe Ed.D. on December 20, 2021

One of the best parts about having a furry child is the ability to communicate without words, without so many sounds taking up space.

One of the best parts about having a furry child is the ability to communicate without words, without so many sounds taking up space.

Auntie Marilyn and Adam, the author's son
Friends
An Enduring and Remarkable Friendship

Barbara A Jaffe Ed.D. on May 5, 2021

Putting on makeup and helping me with my hair are tiny lessons, all precursors for loving teachings that have joyfully spanned 53 years and counting.

Putting on makeup and helping me with my hair are tiny lessons, all precursors for loving teachings that have joyfully spanned 53 years and counting.