Relationships
What If You Could Start Over?
Eight questions to unearth what you might've done.
Posted December 28, 2018
At this time of year, how-to articles may suggest you make New Year’s resolutions. But they usually ignore a preliminary step: How to decide what to resolve? These questions may help.
Imagine you’re somewhere between 17 and 24 but the year is 2019:
1. What would your goal be for long-term romantic relationships:
a) traditional marriage
b) serial monogamy
c) polyamory (multiple long-term romantic/sexual partners at the same time)
d) avoiding long-term romantic relationships
2. How many children would you want to have?
a) 0
b) 1
c) 2
d) 3 or more
3. What might your career goal be?
To help trigger your ideas, here are four options I’d personally consider if starting over:
a) Drop out of school after the 8th grade but do lots of learning of what I was interested in by reading, watching videos, apprenticing, etc. I’d consolidate my learnings and musings in essays. I’d live at home so I wouldn’t have to worry much about money but would try to earn a living by selling collections of my essays. If I couldn’t get a publisher, I’d self-publish. In either case, I’d sell my books on the street and on the Internet. If I needed more money, I'd work at a bookstore or library.
b) Get a PhD in genetics, specializing in the biological basis of intelligence. My goal would be to help develop a procedure that would allow prospective parents to elect gene editing to help ensure their child had at least average intelligence, perhaps above-average.
c) Start ProMatch: like Match.com but matching consumers with professionals: doctors, lawyers, psychologists, architects, etc.
d) be an academic librarian specializing in helping genetics researchers obtain needed information.
4. What avocation would you pursue seriously? Examples: acting, musician, fiction writing, visual art, playing a sport, video games, volunteer work, physical challenge such as backpacking.
5. What would your approach to money be?
a) Save as much as possible, conservatively (e.g., CDs or, if you're in a high tax bracket, investment-grade tax-free bonds.)
b) Save as much as possible, aggressively (e.g., stock mutual funds)
c) Spend as much as possible
d) Balance spending and saving
6. What would your approach be to your housing, typically the biggest expense?
a) Aspire to own or rent a house or condo in a high-cost locale (e.g., coastal suburb or ritzy part of the city.)
b) Aspire to own or rent in a low-cost locale (e.g., non-coastal, rural, or gritty urban area.)
7. What would be your approach to higher education (which, along with housing, is most people’s biggest expense)?
a) Incur the cost of a brand-name college.
b) Save by attending community college and then in-state public college and/or by taking low-cost online courses, self-study or tutoring.
8. What would be central to your philosophy of the life well-led?
a) The pursuit of happiness; that is, work the minimum so there’s plenty time for fun.
b) The pursuit of maximum contribution to your sphere of influence even though that means long work hours and a life out-of-balance.
c) Work-life balance.
The takeaway
Review your answers. Does that make you want to change one or more things about your life? If so, perhaps that suggests a New Year’s resolution.