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Procrastination
Ridding Happiness Contaminants 7: Procrastination
How to give up giving up
Posted April 15, 2016
As many of you know, procrastination is very common. I think of the university professor who can’t bring herself to write the paper she needs to complete to secure tenure. Or the gentleman who fails to submit his income tax returns by April 15 year after year. How about the college student who puts off studying till the last minute, only to pull two overnighters in a row in order to pass the course. Then there’s the overweight person with congestive heart failure who won't follow her diet. Or the sexual addict unable to control his libidinous urges.
These are examples of procrastination that perfectly fit the criteria in that they: (1) inhibit the production of results; (2) cause problems for the person in the long run; (3) leave the person with nagging discomfort as if something is hanging over his or her head; (4) hurt and/or cause distrust from others; and (5) often leads to guilt, shame, and a loss of self-confidence. What is really interesting about the cases I noted above is that there is really no objective reason why these people couldn't produce the result in a timely manner if they just knuckled down and did it.
Now, every one of us procrastinates on occasion. After all, nobody can be perfectly productive all the time. But, what about those who chronically procrastinate? What is it that causes them to act in such self-defeating ways?
The good news is that we now know the answer. It is that the chronic procrastinator has indoctrinated himself or herself with irrational ideas that drive the procrastination. These ideas come in three varieties.
1. Low Frustration Tolerance. When faced with a difficult or boring task, or one that requires the delay of some high-value pleasure, this person habitually self-talks thusly: (1) This is difficult (or boring or frustrating); (2) It's too boring; (3) I can't bear to do it; (4) I must not subject myself to it, especially at the expense of any immediate pleasure; (5) I'll do it later when it will be magically easy, enjoyable, and without having to sacrifice anything. By asserting this nonsense, one casts the task as intolerable and drives one to avoid it at all cost.
2. Perfectionism. The idea indoctrinated in this procrastinator’s mind would sound something like this: “I have to complete this task perfectly for, if I fail, I’ll become a failure.” So, with the person thinking his or her worth is at stake, two things likely happen: (1) the task takes on such huge proportions that it appears too daunting to complete; (2) the task becomes so loaded with threat that it is to be avoided at all cost.
3. Anger. This type procrastinator refuses to undertake a task out of resentment. The underlying self-talk is: (1) This is stupid; (2) He/she/they shouldn't require this stupid thing of me; (3) The hell with it and with you, I won't do it.
Once you understand which of these three irrational ideas cause your procrastination, the question then becomes what to do about it. There are elegant and inelegant strategies in defeating procrastination.
The inelegant strategies are many. For example, you can block out time on your calendar in which you are to do the required work. You can prioritize your list of tasks and chores, completing the high priority ones first. You can enlist the help of people committed to remind you, badger you, hold you accountable. You can reward yourself for knuckling down to work and punish yourself for not. You can do relaxation and visualization exercises.
These type strategies may somewhat help on occasion. However, unless you elegantly rid yourself of the irrational ideas that drive your procrastination and re-indoctrinate yourself with new, more rational ones, you will always be vulnerable to procrastinating. Here, then, are the three steps to elegantly conquering procrastination.
1. Know the enemy. Identify the irrational ideas that drive your procrastination. Is it low frustration tolerance? Perfectionism attached to your self-worth? Or is it anger and resentment? Recognize which one of these cause you to habitually procrastinate and commit to ridding yourself of them.
2. Slay the enemy. Each and every time you are scheduled to tackle a task, forcefully show yourself how absurd your procrastination-prompting ideas are. If indoctrinated with low frustration tolerance thinking, tell yourself: “This may be difficult, but it is not too difficult; furthermore, I'm not a two year old and can easily bear the difficulty and boredom; so, dammit, just do it.” Or, if a perfectionist, assert: “I don't have to be perfect; all I have to do is the best I can; besides, my worth as a person has nothing whatsoever to do with this task.” Or, if angry, declare: “This may be stupid, but there's no law that says I shouldn't have to do something stupid; also, it's unreasonable for me to expect my teacher/boss/supervisor to be perfect and never ask me to do something stupid.”
3. Act Against the Enemy. Force yourself to do the task, perhaps with the aid of a schedule, maybe with the help of a support person, perhaps with a reward following your success.
Like anything else, building a new habit takes work, work, work. You will have to do this three-step process many times before your re-indoctrinated habit of thinking takes hold. But, if you do the work, you will have the best of two worlds: on the one hand, you will knock out the tasks on schedule – no fuss, no muss; on the other hand, you will not suffer stress, guilt, or resentment in the process. Not a bad deal, is it?
Going Forward
I hope this blog has helped you in ridding your happiness contaminant of procrastination. As always, feel free to contact me should you have any questions. Till the next blog, live happy, healthy, and with passion.
Russell Grieger, Ph.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice in Charlottesville, Virginia. The author of several self-help books, all designed to empower people to create a life they love to live, he invites you to check out his new relationship happiness book, The Couples Therapy Companion; A Cognitive Behavior Workbook. You may contact Dr. Grieger for questions or for more information at grieger@cstone.net
