Why Bereavement Leave Is Important

The calendar is punctuated by holidays that are recognized by workplaces across the country—Christmas, July 4, and Thanksgiving, to name a few. Offices are closed, employees are given the day off, and those who do work are paid extra.

At other times, employers acknowledge individual employee needs, providing space and/or support to acknowledge that we have personal lives. Most employers offer maternity leave, sick days, and personal vacation days, for example. We even get sanctioned time off for jury duty.

But what about time for bereavement? Why don’t employers offer adequate leave for employees to grieve? Even though grief is universal and can be utterly destabilizing, more than 60 percent of workplaces in the United States only offer three days of leave after a major loss, and many provide time off only for the loss of an immediate family member.

Here’s why employers should consider expanded bereavement to support their teams:

• We aren’t going to be productive in the immediate aftermath of loss. We might feel numb, discombobulated, devastated, depleted, or any other myriad emotions when our person dies. What we aren’t likely to feel is motivated and energized. It’s not only that we might not want to work; it’s that we might not be able to do the job that’s required of us.
• We’re more likely to be loyal to employers who care about our well-being. The employer-employee relationship is just that: a relationship. And in any relationship, when we feel valued and cared for, we’re more likely to return the sentiment. Treating employees with compassion isn’t only the right thing to do; it’s also strategically beneficial.
• Short-term support can alleviate longer-term absences. It may take extended time to fully integrate a loss, but acknowledging it from the outset can help start the healing process and prevent greater mental health impacts down the road.
• We should be able to decide for ourselves when a loss precludes our ability to work. Yes, we should get time off when a family member dies. But what about a best friend? A teacher? A neighbor? And, for that matter, what about pregnancy loss? Isn’t that deserving of time off, too?
• Grievers need people to stand beside them in their sorrow. Literally. A Tuesday funeral should be just as full as one that takes place on a Sunday. We know that showing up is the most important thing you can do when someone you care about is grieving. Sanctioned time off for funerals elevates the conversation around grief and legitimizes the importance of support.

Change will only happen when we become more comfortable talking about grief. The good news is there are individuals and organizations who can serve as our guides in navigating this complicated territory.

Sheryl Sandberg’s Option B organization, for example, offers a host of resources for employees to advocate for expanded bereavement leave and for human resources leaders to educate themselves so they can drive meaningful change in their company. As Becca Bernstein, senior manager at Option B, puts it, "grieving is so hard. It's taxing on your mind. It's taxing on your body. People who are not grievers need information to be able to meet grievers where they are, and systems and structures need to be able to meet grievers where they are. There's so much that we can do to validate grief."

We can do better as individuals when we understand how to be present for a grieving friend, and we can do better as employers when we understand how to show up for grieving employees. It’s far easier to support friends or colleagues in times of celebration, but being there for the tough times is what truly makes people and companies stand out.