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Freedom to Grieve

Protecting grief from "closure," consumerism, politics, and other cultural distortions

Anger
How to Reduce Conflict and Foster Healing

Nancy Berns Ph.D. on November 11, 2016

In a nation divided, hurting, and fearful, the pressure is mounting. When tension and conflict escalate, do you know how to help?

In a nation divided, hurting, and fearful, the pressure is mounting. When tension and conflict escalate, do you know how to help?

Play
A Thousand Ways in Life and Death

Nancy Berns Ph.D. on April 4, 2016

It can feel like a thousand little cuts that hit unpredictably as we learn to live with loss. It can be the seemingly mundane things in life that hurt so unexpectedly.

It can feel like a thousand little cuts that hit unpredictably as we learn to live with loss. It can be the seemingly mundane things in life that hurt so unexpectedly.

Grief
Finding Joy in Ordinary Moments

Nancy Berns Ph.D. on February 29, 2016

We can't afford to wait until everything in life is going well before appreciating ordinary moments.

We can't afford to wait until everything in life is going well before appreciating ordinary moments.

Career
Why Keeping Problems Secret Only Makes Them Worse

Nancy Berns Ph.D. on November 10, 2015

Is this you? You hold it all together until the last person leaves the house and then you break down crying. You think, “How can everyone else be doing so well but I am failing?"

Is this you? You hold it all together until the last person leaves the house and then you break down crying. You think, “How can everyone else be doing so well but I am failing?"

Grief
Living Life While Facing Death

Nancy Berns Ph.D. on October 1, 2015

Daniel said his wife wanted to capture life and keep living even as she faced cancer. How can she still have fun even when telling her son she was dying?

Daniel said his wife wanted to capture life and keep living even as she faced cancer. How can she still have fun even when telling her son she was dying?

Grief
Living After a Police Officer Dies

Nancy Berns Ph.D. on May 15, 2015

If you look closer, you’ll see some of them wiping away tears. You’ll see the exhausted look of fresh grief on many faces. For others, eyes shine with appreciation of being among family—not related by blood but related by blood lost.

If you look closer, you’ll see some of them wiping away tears. You’ll see the exhausted look of fresh grief on many faces. For others, eyes shine with appreciation of being among family—not related by blood but related by blood lost.

Grief
Two Things Children Should Know about Grief

Nancy Berns Ph.D. on April 29, 2015

Do not think you have to have all the pain go away before you can have fun or even just go about your ordinary routine. You are not being disloyal to the person you miss if you are experiencing joy.

Do not think you have to have all the pain go away before you can have fun or even just go about your ordinary routine. You are not being disloyal to the person you miss if you are experiencing joy.

Grief
Good Friday, Good Grief

Nancy Berns Ph.D. on March 31, 2015

Too often, church services or conversations with Christians do not give enough time for expressions of pain, loss, and grief. We want to rush to the happy stuff. We want to convince ourselves and others that life is all good. But life can be really hard.

Too often, church services or conversations with Christians do not give enough time for expressions of pain, loss, and grief. We want to rush to the happy stuff. We want to convince ourselves and others that life is all good. But life can be really hard.

Grief
One Man’s Sorrow, Enlightened by Grief

Nancy Berns Ph.D. on February 28, 2015

Paul said he was surprised by his grief: “I don't think that I had any inkling that I had any depth or capacity for that much grief. It just took me by surprise.”

Paul said he was surprised by his grief: “I don't think that I had any inkling that I had any depth or capacity for that much grief. It just took me by surprise.”

Relationships
How to Live, Love, and Laugh

Nancy Berns Ph.D. on January 29, 2015

A life worth living is not the same as a life free of problems. We learn from our troubles and we grow when we focus on how to keep living life to its fullest even while facing trials.

A life worth living is not the same as a life free of problems. We learn from our troubles and we grow when we focus on how to keep living life to its fullest even while facing trials.

Career
Blazing a Trail in Corn and Life

Nancy Berns Ph.D. on September 30, 2014

There is not just one way that your life must unfold. We learn from those “dead ends” and we can find lessons and beauty in the trails that end up going in a circle.

There is not just one way that your life must unfold. We learn from those “dead ends” and we can find lessons and beauty in the trails that end up going in a circle.

Relationships
How Do We Keep Caring in a Broken World of Pain?

Nancy Berns Ph.D. on August 27, 2014

I watched, waiting to see if intervention would be needed. Then I turned in time to see tears streaming down my youngest daughter’s face. She had stopped eating, as we all did, as she worried about that little girl.

I watched, waiting to see if intervention would be needed. Then I turned in time to see tears streaming down my youngest daughter’s face. She had stopped eating, as we all did, as she worried about that little girl.

Creativity
Be the Beauty in Our Broken World

Nancy Berns Ph.D. on July 23, 2014

Amazing advances in technology and innovation in this digital world have changed the way we live. However, you will still find more beauty in simple acts of humanity.

Amazing advances in technology and innovation in this digital world have changed the way we live. However, you will still find more beauty in simple acts of humanity.