Dating in Your League

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In the field of mathematics, there is something called the stable marriage problem. The problem goes like this: Given a dating pool where everyone has preferences in a partner, find a way to produce stable matches. Matches are considered stable when no pairs of people exist who would prefer each other over their current partners. For instance, if Taylor is matched with Andy, then even though they might find others attractive, there is no one they like more than each other who would also choose to be with them.

Dating apps are faced with a similar dilemma as the one originally described in the stable marriage problem: Match people with their most preferred partner and they might be rejected, but pair them with someone who doesn’t meet their preferences and they could end up settling when a better option exists. For online dating to work well, it’s important that people are introduced to partners they find attractive, but who are also attainable. In other words, they must match with others who are “in their league.”

The “Computer Dance” Study

In a famous 1960s study, a team of researchers led by Elaine (Walster) Hatfield held a “computer dance” for freshmen at the University of Minnesota. Students could purchase tickets to the dance for $1 and were led to believe that a computer would be used to match them with a date. Unbeknownst to the attendees, matching was actually random and several of the individuals working at the event had been instructed to rate how physically attractive people were as they were checking in. The researchers proposed that people would be attracted to partners who were as desirable as they were, a phenomenon known as the matching hypothesis. In the decades since, the matching hypothesis has been used to explain why partners often resemble each other on a variety of attributes including (but not limited to) physical attractiveness.

The Matching Hypothesis and Dating Apps

Although the matching hypothesis explains how people behave in face-to-face dating scenarios, there is the possibility that people will be bolder in their pursuit of partners on dating apps. In 2018, Elizabeth Bruch and Mark Newman revisited the matching hypothesis in a large-scale study of the messaging behaviors of online daters in four major U.S. cities. It was shown that, on average, people reached up the dating hierarchy by pursuing partners who were 25 percent higher than they were in desirability. However, they were the most likely to receive a response from partners who were more similar to themselves. While it might not hurt to aim high, just as in the offline world, people are more successful at attracting a mate when they are realistic about their options.

Fortunately, dating apps understand the importance of attainability and take this into account when delivering recommendations. For instance, Hinge uses the Gale-Shapley algorithm, which offers a solution to the stable marriage problem and the conundrum of trying to match people with partners who will appeal to them and also reciprocate their interest. To do this, the algorithm is designed to match people with others who meet their preferences, but who are also within reach. In this way, your dating app matches can say quite a bit about who is considered in (and out) of your league.

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