Fostering Positive Childhood Experiences and Environments

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You may have heard about the cognitive behavioral therapy triangle linking thoughts, emotions, and behavior in a way that each of these affects the others. This foundational knowledge has transformed the way humans understand and approach mental health.

It has also opened up more compassionate ways of understanding people’s behavior, by helping us see that all behavior has underlying, often unseen, triggers or reasons behind it.

While this concept applies to every single one of us, it is important to recognize that some of us have greater vulnerabilities impacting how our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors interact with each other and impact our daily lives. You may have noticed that each of us has different capacities impacting our ability to regulate our thoughts, feelings, and behavior.

Perhaps childhood traumas have impacted your ability to trust others. Perhaps ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) impacts your ability to engage in a conversation without interrupting others or getting distracted. Perhaps you have anxiety that impairs your ability to communicate your needs calmly and clearly.

These tendencies and capacities are partly due to biological factors, such as our genes, but are also strongly influenced by our environment. There is no question that our families have a great impact on the development of our inner and outer experiences as we learn to navigate the world. Our caregivers are the first to show us what it feels like to be taken care of, to feel safe, and to be heard and understood.

Research has also shown that experiences outside our family’s control can cause stress. The neighborhoods we live in, the schools we attend, the lack of access to green spaces, and unexpected traumatic events are all important to our mental health because they can impact our ability to feel safe, supported, and empowered.

We can look at life’s difficulties through the lens of having three main choices on how we wish to navigate them. As adults/caregivers, many want to improve things for our kids, even when we understand we will never achieve perfection.

By choosing the option to attempt to improve the risks that could impact your child’s mental health, you are accepting that a painful current reality exists and see an option to try to make things better.

As parents, caregivers, and educators, we can provide a buffering system that can prevent the harmful effects of toxic stress and instead promote positive experiences that protect our kids' and the community’s mental health.

This post also appeared in the TEKU Inc Healing Corner blog