Finding Calm in Chaos

Life is full of unexpected moments—times when everything seems to go off course, leaving you feeling unsettled, unsure, activated, or triggered. Whether it’s a sudden change at work, an argument with a loved one, or an unforeseen event that shakes your world, these disruptions can challenge your sense of peace and well-being. To help you navigate these moments with ease and clarity, I developed the CALM method, a step-by-step, real-time approach based on my Cognitive-Somatic Awareness Model, designed to keep you centered and intentional in the face of life’s inevitable chaos.

The CALM Method: A Step-by-Step Guide

The CALM method is designed to help you connect with both your external and internal experiences, transforming moments of disruption into opportunities for personal growth and alignment. Let’s walk through each step.

C — Capture the External Landscape.

When a disruption occurs, the first step is to capture what’s happening in your external environment. Imagine you’re in the middle of a busy day when something unexpected happens—perhaps you receive sudden news that throws you off balance.

Instead of reacting immediately, pause and notice your surroundings. What do you see? Where are you? What sounds fill the space? Are there any distinct smells or tastes? Who is there? What is being said? What are you witnessing?

This step is about grounding yourself in the present moment by focusing on the sensory details of your environment. This is important because the specifics of your external stimuli and the situations surrounding them can significantly influence how you identify and interpret your emotions (Morie KP, Crowley MJ, Mayes LC, Potenza MN, 2022). Capturing these details creates a mental snapshot of what’s happening around you, which can help reduce the intensity of the moment and provide insight into what external circumstances may have activated or triggered you.

A — Attune to Your Inner Landscape.

Once you’ve captured the external details, it’s time to attune to what’s happening inside you. What sensations are present in your body? Is your heart racing, or do you feel tension in your shoulders? Maybe there’s a knot in your stomach?

Get curious about these sensations without judgment. Observe your inner landscape and stay present with your sensations. Notice what the activation or trigger feels like—maybe a flutter in your chest, tight muscles, or a change in your breathing. Being attuned to your physiological states is crucial, as it allows you to better identify your emotions, which is a key aspect of emotional regulation, mental health, and well-being (Morie KP, Crowley MJ, Mayes LC, Potenza MN, 2022).

As you identify these physical cues, you unlock valuable information that brings clarity, giving you both awareness and control over your emotional responses. This turns abstract feelings into actionable insights, allowing you to engage with your body’s signals and respond with clarity and intention.

L — Label the Story and Emotion.

Emotions aren’t just automatic; they’re shaped by how your brain combines physical sensations with the story you tell yourself. Research shows that labeling your emotions is a powerful tool for emotional regulation (Torre, J. B., & Lieberman, M. D., 2018). The label step in the CALM method involves recognizing both the narrative and the emotion that follows.

To clarify your story, ask yourself, “What am I making this mean?” This question helps uncover the impact of the current moment. Notice any assumptions or beliefs—are they rooted in past experiences or expectations that might not fit the current situation? Your narrative directly influences your emotional response in the here and now.

Once you’ve identified the story and noticed your sensations, name the emotion they create (Barrett 2017). For example, a racing heart can trigger fear if the story involves danger or anticipation if it’s about excitement. By labeling the emotion—whether it’s anger, joy, or fear—you gain clarity, making it more tangible and understandable.

This process deepens the mind-body connection. By understanding and naming your emotions, you gain clarity on what’s happening internally, helping reveal your underlying needs and empowering you to take intentional, aligned action.

M — Move Into Action.

With a clear understanding of your story and emotions, it’s time to move into action. This step involves making intentional choices that address your immediate needs.

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First, pause and identify what you need in the moment. Emotions signal that something requires attention, so ask yourself, “What do I need right now?” Once you’ve identified the need, consider how you can immediately address it in a supportive way. This might involve speaking up, setting a boundary, or simply taking a moment to breathe. Focus on actions that help you return to a state of comfort and ease, allowing you to release emotional energy constructively.

Ground your actions in the present moment, avoiding future worries or past regrets, to ensure they are effective and aligned with your intentional response.

Using the CALM Method in Daily Life

Disruptions are an inevitable part of life, but with the CALM method, you can navigate them with clarity and confidence. Here’s a quick recap of the steps:

1. Capture what’s happening around you—use your senses to ground yourself in the moment.
2. Attune to what’s happening inside—notice and describe your physical sensations.
3. Label the story and emotion—identify the narrative you’re creating and the feelings associated with it.
4. Move into action—choose intentional responses that support your well-being.

Conclusion: Cultivating CALM in Your Life

Life’s disruptions don’t have to derail you. The CALM method is a practical tool for staying centered and responding thoughtfully, no matter what comes your way. By implementing the steps of CALM, you can transform chaos into clarity, confusion into confidence, and disruption into personal growth, all while maintaining alignment with your values and desires. This approach empowers you to stay connected to both your mind and body, turning challenging moments into opportunities for growth and self-awareness.