Why Won't Healthy Habits Stick?

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The following scenario may be all too familiar. You worked hard all day only to come home and rush through an endless list of chores. It’s the end of the day and you finally have a minute to yourself. You grab an alcoholic beverage and plop on the couch to watch some TV.

There is a problem though. The habit lasts longer than anticipated. Watching a 30-minute show turns into a 2-hour binge that cuts into your precious sleep. You pay for his habit the next morning when you struggle to get out of bed. Being sleep-deprived makes the next day feel especially painful.

Your nightly habit of indulging on the couch also comes at an emotional cost. It triggers feelings of shame and guilt because you know this habit is not good for you. It would be more beneficial if you wrapped up your day with a light walk, a brief meditation or talking to a loved one.

What is happening? You know that exercise, journaling, spending time with loved ones and meditation benefit your physical and mental health. Yet, it is too easy to fall for unhealthy vices such as eating junk food, having a few alcoholic beverages and watching reruns. Why is it so hard to stick with healthy habits?

The truth is you are not alone. The majority of New Year’s resolutions are abandoned after three months. Though well-intentioned, healthy habits are difficult to stick with because they require some degree of effort and willpower. Mustering any energy and discipline to exercise, journal or meditate can feel insurmountable when you are depleted at the end of a workday.

In addition, healthy habits do not yield immediate benefits. You will not experience the euphoria of a runner’s high a few minutes into your jog. Nor will you discover a profound sense of inner peace after your first meditation session. Eating that avocado will not dramatically improve your physical health. On the contrary, you are more likely to experience some initial discomfort while pushing your body and mind through unfamiliar territory.

It is human nature to pursue the path of least resistance, especially when you are tired. If you do not intentionally and consistently hone healthy habits, you will automatically fall for unhealthy ones. Problematic behaviors such as alcohol and substance use, junk food and excessive screen time will fill the void because they require minimal effort to have an immediate impact on your emotional state. Their mind-numbing properties instantly quell feelings of irritability, sadness or anxiety pent-up from the day.

However, there is a catch. Unhealthy habits ultimately come at a cost to your physical, mental and social health. They are the equivalent of going down a slippery slope with no end in sight. This is why you need healthy habits to serve as an anchor to navigate life’s challenges. It is the consistent practice of healthy habits over time that leads to positive results.

Reaping the benefit of healthy habits requires some willpower which is the ability to resist short-term temptations for long-term benefits. However, willpower is not enough. You also need systems to help healthy habits stick.

Here are five tips to help your healthy habits stick.

1. Say goodbye to perfection

We often have a hard time sticking with new habits because we set the bar at unrealistic expectations. As high-achievers, we expect a workout to last an entire hour and include a circuit of workouts. Anything less does not count as exercise in our minds.

The truth is that some exercise is better than none. Even a 15-minute walk, a few sets of calisthenics or some light stretching is better than zero physical activity. Don’t let perfectionism get in the way of making progress.

2. Find your "why"

Delaying instant gratification is hard if it is not connected with a higher purpose. You are more likely to stick with a new behavior if it is attached to something important to you.

As a personal example, I exercise consistently four to five times per week. The primary reason is to be healthy for my children and to role model this behavior for them. When they become adults, I want them to prioritize their health regardless of how busy their lives are.

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3. Increase your support system

Establishing a new behavior is easier when loved ones are supporting you. For example, it can be difficult to abstain from alcohol or junk food if it is abundant in your house and being consumed in front of you.

Having a support system can help you stay the course even when you are lower on willpower because others can remind you of the progress you have made. It is also harder to slack off when someone is watching. We deeply care about what others think of us and don’t want to let them down.

4. Keep it light

It is hard to stick with a new habit if it is too painful. As an example, many people struggle to keep up with an exercise program because it is too strenuous. The idea of showing up day after day for more muscle soreness can be discouraging.

The same holds true when starting any routine such as writing or reading. Trying to accomplish too much too fast takes the joy out of the experience.

Try to keep your new habit light. Instead of focusing on results, focus on enjoying the new behavior. This makes it more likely you will look forward to it.

5. Give yourself some grace

Building a new habit can take months. Be patient and realistic with yourself. Practice self-compassion when you experience shortcomings along the way. Beating yourself up leads to emotional pain that makes it more likely you fall for old vices.