Open to Change

When someone in a romantic relationship adopts a radically new diet or a sudden passion, a partner's support—or pushback—could make for an easier or rockier future together. What sort of significant other is likely to go along with such a change? Research suggests that a person's own sense of self may relate to whether he or she will cheer on a partner who's changing.

Across several studies, people reflected on ways in which their partner had changed and indicated their own previous or anticipated levels of support and resistance. Researchers also assessed their self-concept clarity, based on agreement with statements such as, "In general, I have a clear sense of who I am and what I am." The team expected that people with a foggier sense of self "might be less likely to support a partner's change, because they would worry they'd have to change, too," which might result in further identity confusion, according to co-author Lydia Emery, a Ph.D. candidate in psychology at Northwestern University.Individuals with low self-concept clarity were indeed less supportive of a partner's change, on average. The findings imply that when partners are not encouraging, "sometimes there are deeper things going on; it's not just that they don't care," Emery says. The researchers also found some evidence that supporting change was associated with aspects of relationship quality—including both partners' levels of commitment.