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We recently started renovations on our house. It was supposed to be a small project. I had a screen porch that I loved to sit on; then my two dogs thought it was great fun to push through the screens and chase each other around. Suddenly, my screen porch started collecting dirt, wasps and bugs, in addition to an occasional bird. We decided to turn the porch into a sunroom; then I could sit in it all year round!
Sounds simple, right? But then the new room would need to be integrated into the heating system and really we should be converting to geothermal both to help the environment and because of the current tax credit and then windows on the front of the house needed to be replaced and so on and so on. The upshot is that one small project spiraled into renovations taking place in almost every room.
How does this relate to Writing Towards Health? It applies in a few ways.
- When we push away thoughts about difficult experiences and try to forget them, they don't just disappear. Ignoring the rips in my screen porch didn't make them go away. Rather the porch got more and more destroyed as animals and the elements took free reign. Those memories, those feelings won't just disappear; they'll stay inside and continue to grow.
- When we start to acknowledge one issue, we begin to find others. This can feel disconcerting. If you go from ignoring things to being aware of issues and from there start recognizing more and more issues, it can feel like maybe you were better off before. Once you start recognizing issues in your life that you want to work on, you can then start making changes. Those negative feelings are there whether you acknowledge them or not. They are influencing your decisions and views on life. It can be better to understand them rather than try and push them away.
- Once we started these projects in our house, it did feel overwhelming to see everything that had to get done. It can feel that way too when you start writing or working to understand memories or emotions. But what is important to remember is that it is a process. Not everything has to be done this minute. It is step by step. Word by word. Overflowing shelf by overflowing shelf.
- So.... Journal to discover what you're trying to push away but that is still inside bothering you. Need some prompts?
o I want to forget....
o I wish I could turn back time ...
o I don't want anyone to know...
o I don't want to remember...
o If I could change one thing...
o Hidden inside myself in a locked box is...
o The key to the past is...
o The story that I would never want to tell my children is...
o The story I never want to tell myself... - Journal to discover want new rooms you want to add to yourself or your life. I knew I needed a space where I could go and look out at the backyard. I know I need to write. I need to finish organizing my house so I have a small sense of control. But I know that it will never be perfectly organized because life never is. Need a way to start? My ideal room would be...
- Journal to remind yourself about the process. You may need some inspirational quotes to keep you going. When I get discouraged about writing-feeling that the words aren't right-I remind myself that you can't revise a blank page. It doesn't have to be perfect, but I have nothing to work with if I don't just start. Your writing doesn't have to get to what's bothering you in the very first sentence. It may take some time. But if you don't start, you won't be able to write the next sentence or the next. Each one can take you deeper into understanding how to connect with yourself and your life.
Go, Write On!
Martha Peaslee Levine, MD
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/your-write-health
http://www.eatingdisordersblogs.com/your_write_to_health
http://www.beamaia.com
