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Sexual Freedom – The Freedom to Do As You Wish
The overriding politically correct principle about sexual behavior in our time is that sex is whatever you want it to be. You want it? In whatever way? Enjoy it as you wish. We’ll help you get what you want.
For many, ours is to be an age of pleasure, freedom and an absence of any moral judgment. This is the modern standard that most of our psychological professions promote dutifully.
Are there any comparisons or choices to be made as to where, how, and what to perform sexually—or whether to abstain entirely or almost entirely (see shortly how a surprising number of people do this)? No more. Whatever you want goes, for reasons that are healthy or neurotic, although that last word as if doesn’t exist anymore because the word “neurosis” has been removed (wrongly, in my opinion) from the list of ‘kosher DSM diagnoses’.
Another virtually ignored topic is the extreme form of escape from the opportunity of sexuality is the amazing fact that according to the scientific literature no less than 1 out of 7—and possibly even an amazing 1 out of 4—young couples (for this purpose we mean under 40) virtually or actually stop having sex altogether. Again, the politically correct dictum is to do or not do as you feel like doing and not doing. Everything goes.
It’s Great to Be Alive and Having Sex is A Great Way to Extend your Life, and the Quality of Your Life as Well
To all of the above politically correct we say, are you kidding? Of course one should enjoy sexual release and pleasure regularly—quite often in fact—because it’s good for you in every conceivable way. It’s good for the physical organs that we use for sex. It’s great for your breathing and your heart. It’s delicious for your mood. It clears away cobwebs of boredom and routine. And in a genuinely loving relationship, a synergy of good sex and love is great for both. One might say, the Surgeon General advises, “Having sex regularly can be good for your health!”
Of course, there are also a good number of quite dysphoric or unpleasant sensations and experiences that accompany and emerge in the course of having sex: sometimes pain, boredom, dislike of one’s partner or disapproval of them, sensations of disgust and revulsion, waves of anxiety, feeling spent, and more. So that sex also involves many feedback challenges to us about uncomfortable aspects of ourselves and alerts us to some parts of us and ways of loving that deserve attention for correction and growth.
Many, many people stop having much sex as unconscious escapes from the challenges that sex brings to the fore along with its known pleasures. But those of us who aren’t afraid to respond to ourselves with an acceptance of the challenges of our revealed shortcomings and limitations will then be in a better position to go on to bigger, better and more joyful and more meaningful sexual pleasures—and the health benefits they bring.
I had a quite elderly man as my barber for some time (Author: I am only too aware that now as I write I myself am a very elderly man J L), and while cutting my hair he delighted in reviewing his very active sexual life with his wife. Of course even as I joked with him, I was listening carefully for every piece of advice I could store up for my future old age someday (it always seems so far away until...).
One day he leaned over me especially intimately and asked me—
“Do you know why I do it every night?”
I said dutifully, “No, tell me.”
“What is critical,” he said, “is that you never allow the pipes to rust.”
But is it physically better to pretty much give up sex other than for procreation? A number of cultures actually have defined sexual activity as a doorway to dying. In Christianity, Paul teaches, “It is good for a man not to touch a woman.” Chinese medical practitioners have been known to advise avoiding orgasms because they are said to weaken whatever meridian we need to feel strong. In North India, any loss of semen is considered to be debilitating, so it is in the orthodox extremes of Judaism, and I have seen young Catholics in mortal pain in response to their "sins" of sexuality.
In contrast, along comes modern medical science and among other things measures frequency of orgasm in relation to mortality. Voila! In one landmark study in the British Medical Journal, the conclusion was that mortality risk was 50 percent lower with higher orgasm frequency than in the group with low orgasmic frequency.[i]
Moreover, no matter whether the religious or traditional advice may be to refrain or to go slowly, the humor, literature, art, cinematography and you name it of so many cultures never stop pouring out an endless stream of gyrations and representations of sexual interests and activities. Were all the sexual energies in our lives released, they would add up to a huge energy out there in our universe.
Our recommendation: Yes, Do It!
Our recommendation is yes to "use it" or "do it"—and take care neither to "lose it or abuse it."
Good sex to you, Dear Reader.
There are many reasons for having lots and lots of sexual activity. The Times of India (perhaps we should say from the culture that gave us the Kama Sutra—historians suggest that Kama Sutra was composed between 400 BCE and 200 CE) offered “9 Reasons You Should Have Sex Everyday”:
Improves cardiovascular health—a study is cited that men who have sex more than twice a week have less risk of heart attack
- Increases immunity
- Reduces stress
- Relieves pain
- Promotes longevity
- Increases blood circulation—explanation is that sex pumps fresh blood to your organs and cells and spurs the body to expel toxins
- Sleep better
- Improves overall fitness
- Increases level of estrogen and testosterone
Wow! But maybe we shouldn’t trust the people who gave us the Kama Sutra who are apparently devoted to selling the product line of sex. So let’s go conservative and sure enough, we find even in the good old American family magazine, Readers Digest, “7 Reasons You Should Be Having More Sex.” And one UK source ups the ante to “21 Reasons Why You Should Have Sex Tonight.”
The properly formal statement in the British Medical Journal was: “Mortality risk was 50 percent lower in the group with high orgasmic frequency than in the group with low orgasmic frequency.”
Concluding Recommendation
For most of your adult life, try to do it a minimum twice a week. If your partner’s sex and love (for uncommitted couples, instead of love read caring, affection and respect) are well integrated together, you will always be improving the quality of your life.
