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Key points
- A workplace bully masters the subtle art of condescending facial expressions.
- Much of workplace bullying is nonverbal employing abusive body language.
- A bully boss excels in voiceless behavioral assaults that cut deep into the psyche, emotions and productivity of employees.
- Silent bullying may be repetitive, spreads throughout an organization and turns toxic with negative impact on motivation, teams and productivity.
The bully’s face does the talking. Why use words to demean your subordinate when you can quietly shake your head, raise your eyebrows and roll your eyes? A workplace bully masters the art of condescending facial expressions. Snarly smirks and scowling glances are unspoken, lethal tools.
Nonverbal assaults are nasty, troublesome and hurtful. World class silent bullies master bully facial expressions and bully body language. Picture a CEO who hangs his head low and stares at the floor whenever a ‘lowly subordinate’ is speaking. This boss shakes his head “no” as you pour out your guts and brainstorms. He speaks not a word but his nonverbal contortions and rejection of you is hurtful. When employees question his scathing face the boss responds with an incredulous squint and wall-to-wall smile, “my, my, my, we have an active imagination today!”
Silent bullies thrive in Fortune 500s. They bully by flamboyantly walking around and making angry hostile faces. Line workers cower and fume when their elitist, holier-than-thou boss spends three seconds per work station, scowls and “shakes his head ‘no’ when passing. Ouch!
Nonverbal nastiness goes viral in political debates. Politicians mock and condemn their competition with a sour grimace, scorching smile and deadly glance. An ‘ethical politician’ is repulsed when she observes on monitors an opponent making cartoonish, judgmental faces while she is speaking.
The bully boss scripts a silent blood bath. Dignity is quietly dismissed. Voiceless human venom cuts deep into psyche, emotions and productivity. Empathy and emotional intelligence are curiously cancelled. Gossip, anger, grievances, turnover and civil law suits are by-products of the boss who delights in destroying with her irreverent eye brows and his death-unto-you stare.
In several companies I was brought in as a consultant and executive coach when human resources failed to get any acknowledgement of bad behavior out of a silent bully. The typically lame in-house rationalization is that “if he didn’t verbally abuse then there is no bullying.” Pardon me?
When I enter onsite I obtain clearance for workplace video-taping of alleged bullying-in-action. And whenever possible I invisibly observe behind mirrors and glass. I pay careful attention to denigrating glances and micro-behaviors intended to deflate, devalue and demote colleagues and work teams. I take note of dramatic and embellished inflection in a bully’s voice and the way he condescendingly slides his glasses down to the tip of his nose when addressing targeted subordinates. A bully may be in fact be quite subtle and sophisticated in inflicting a broad nonverbal repertoire of emotional abuse.
I witness how a silent bully pulls and strokes his neck and throat as if gasping for oxygen when faced with so-called stupidity. I observe executives who defiantly refuse to make any eye contact with their “dimwitted direct reports.” I have been told off-camera that “workplace losers are not worthy of my eye contact.” I observe a strange grimacing of the mouth and hear an inward hissing sound from a pained executive nauseated by employee behavior.
Despite a repertoire of abuses I do not initially jump to conclusions in the form of an assessment or diagnosis. I rather patiently observe and tally the offenders’ facial, vocal and bodily expressions. I find out later from offenders that many of their silent aggressions spew out from disgust, intolerance, prejudice, dismissiveness and a deep dark disrespect for their “inferiors.” It is presumptuous, dysfunctional, destructive and hurtful. In worse case scenarios there is even question of malicious intent. Individuals sputter. Teams suffer. Departments and divisions falter.
Ironically, corporate and Beltway bullies frequently fail miserably at sizing up their targets. What some silent offenders view as low intelligence line workers, staff, engineers, teams and political opponents are actually rather enlightened. Professionals may have a built in radar when it comes to the many faces of disrespect. A workforce viscerally reacts to a boss’s face of condemnation. Politicians, voters, audiences and corporates dread the sight of a miserably judgmental face. When the boss scowls he bellows out to employees “you are intolerable.” Read my face. You are “subhuman, substandard and must be maligned and marginalized.”
Bullies cultivate an ancient art of bully face, bully head, bully lips, bully gestures, bully smiles, bully eyebrows and a bullying with every orifice and human appendage. This 360 degree bully uses all the available means of human harassment and embarrassment. Bullies also anticipate heat and blowback. They perfect the art of veneers and develop dizzying techniques of denial.
Please be on notice. It is beneath the dignity of a seriously silent bully to put it into words. Verbal is lethal. In his twisted semblance of logic, a CEO whispers to his confidant that “my peasant subordinates in the 2020s are lucky to even be employed; I keep them on board as an act of charity and extreme mercy.” A bully boss may qualify as an obnoxious, consummate bad actor. She slows down her speech, giggles and dramatically over articulates certain syllables as a means of antagonizing and singling out victims. Bullies are quite innovative.
Silent bullying necessitates timely response. Delays are deadly. Wordless bullying spreads, turns toxic, infects and infests entire organizations when overlooked or trivialized. Keep precise and highly descriptive records of every reported bullying incident. Refrain from jumping to conclusions and observe the many faces of bad boss behavior. Keep in mind that some silent bullies are not bullies in their own eyes. Be prepared for formidable resistance and denial. And expect employee retaliation to be lurking.
Silent bullying is repetitive and turns toxic. Notice the silent bully mocking and condemning without use of a single utterance or syllable. Only grunts and primitive hisses escape from his mouth. No words needed. Bully face, bully voice and bully body say it all.
References
Goldman, A. (2009). Destructive Leaders and Dysfunctional Organizations. Cambridge, U.K.: Cambridge University Press.
