How Impulsive People Can Boost Their Self-Control

Self-control can be hard for all of us. Even those who have lots of willpower and aren’t prone to impulsive decisions are usually surrounded by temptations such as indulgent food, shiny new products, or the endless distractions of social media.

Research has identified a group of strategies for dealing with such temptations that can be summarized as preemptive self-control (e.g., Fujita et al., 2020). That means that people plan ahead and limit their exposure to temptations before a weak moment arises—for example, by banning all chocolate from their house or by installing productivity apps that limit their access to social media at certain hours.

Ironically, those people who have lots of willpower and are not very impulsive are often best at preemptive self-control. They don’t have to use their willpower as much because they prevent themselves from encountering temptations in the first place. But what can people whose willpower is unreliable and who are sometimes impulsive do?

If that’s you, new research by John Lydon and colleagues from McGill University in Canada may have a solution for you. In their studies, the authors recruited people in romantic heterosexual relationships and measured their impulsivity. Then, participants encountered the temptation: an attractive "participant" of the opposite gender who was in reality an employee of the research team. Participants were then asked about their opinion of this other person.

Imagine you’re one of the participants. The more you let yourself think about how attractive the stranger is, the less commitment you might feel regarding your actual relationship, which could pose a danger to your long-term happiness with your partner. Thus, it might be better to focus on what you don’t like about the stranger, such that your commitment to your partner is protected.

That’s exactly what participants did—especially those who are normally impulsive. They tended to rate the stranger more negatively, thereby reducing the allure of the temptation.

Although this strategy was demonstrated here in a heterosexual romantic context, it could also be used in many other situations. After all, similar strategies to resist temptations generally work in all kinds of settings, whether the temptation is food, sleep, or watching TV.

For example, the next time you’re confronted with tempting cookies while you’re trying to eat healthier, focus on the negatives of the temptation. Maybe the cookies are already a bit stale, or might hurt your teeth? Same with the temptation to watch TV instead of studying. Maybe only re-runs are on anyway, and you’ve actually grown tired of some of the shows you used to like?

Even if willpower fails, all temptations have some downsides. If you can focus on these, resisting could become much easier.