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Psychology
To Mask or Not to Mask: Is That the Question?
Unmasking the psychology of masks.
Posted May 17, 2020 Reviewed by Ekua Hagan
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Masks are all the rage — literally. People get shot asking you to wear them. Some people smile and wave.
So what are the pros and cons of wearing pandemic masks? Here are a few of the innumerable reasons to wear and not to wear:
Pros
- I might live longer.
- The other guy might live longer.
- Folks honk their horns at me. Usually, they don’t notice me at all.
- People don’t comment on my two-tone hair.
- East Asians wear them a lot and they die a lot less than we do.
- It goes well with my last Botox.
- The Surgeon General says I should.
- They wear them in the West Wing of the White House (with exceptions).
- People don’t hear me when I curse them out, especially those drivers who are trying to run me over.
- Old guys don’t hit on me as much.
- People think I’m conscientious — what do they know?
- Waiters wear them and they look okay.
- I no longer burn my lower nose at the beach.
- Angela Merkel looks better in one; she doesn’t frown as much.
- I feel better wearing one during anti-lockdown demonstrations.
- Folks don’t notice I haven’t shaved for a week.
- There are thousands of ways to wear them.
- They’re great fashion statements.
- They come in lots of colors.
- I can make my own, and I haven’t crocheted in years.
- My friends are wearing them on Facebook.
- Instagram influencers like them.
- People think they know my politics.
- My ex-boyfriend (girlfriend) can’t recognize me.
- People don’t notice my haircut makes me look like an extra from Lord of the Rings.
- Big husky men come near me and they never do that at my age.
- Hides bad dental work really well, especially English actors'.
- People think I’m a bank robber.
- People stare at me.
Cons
- People stare at me.
- People think I’m a bank robber.
- Angry young people tell me they’re not going to wear those awful things because it impinges on their freedom, and I’m only wearing it because my son-in-law, the dentist, insists.
- Now I know what my breath really smells like.
- People think they know my politics; I don’t know my politics.
- Folks with AR-15s get really close.
- Folks without AR-15s stay really far away.
- I sweat too much.
- It keeps falling off my nose and then I touch my face and that can’t be good.
- I can’t breathe. Then I cough more and get really bad looks.
- It’s ruining my make-up.
- I don’t like the colors, and why are they commercializing this, anyway?
- I almost like the colors, but why are they politicizing this?
- My glasses are so fogged up I can’t drive.
- People think I’m from New York.
- My ex-girlfriend (boyfriend) can’t recognize me.
- I have to wash it all the time, and that wastes lots of energy.
- Nobody asks for my phone number anymore.
- My enemies are wearing them on Facebook.
- No one can see my really great shade of lipstick.
- Lipstick smears the insides and then I have to taste it all afternoon.
- My boss likes me better without it.
- I can’t find any, and they’re too expensive.
- No one gets to see my killer smile, and I spent half my IRA on that.
- I want to look like Zorro(a,) not a bank robber.
As the mask wars continue, feel free to write your own reasons pro and con. It’s time to unmask masking.