Immediate Turn On: Arousal Hacks to Get You in the Mood

There are countless examples of couples where one partner initiates and desires more sex than the other. This phenomenon where we see mixed libidos is common, yet it often results in deep-seated issues within the relationship.

Let’s narrow this desire gap down. Everything in the world around you impacts your libido. Everything. With the uncertainties and necessities of life directing your sex drive, many couples find that when one partner is feeling aroused, their partner usually is not. If your partner is in the mood, but you are simply not feeling it, don’t let the moment pass!

Below are four quick arousal hacks that are effective and fun. So next time you want to get it on but need an arousal boost, try one of these ideas!

1. Senses are key! Listen to erotica.

Research has found that listening to erotic novels increases arousal in vulva and penis owners. All you must do is lie back and relax as the seductive story sets the sexy scene. Each word will guide your steamy visualizations and yet allow room for your interpretations and turn-ons.

The benefits of listening to erotica are twofold: (1) it has been proven effective to get you in the mood, and (2) arousal is a natural-born coping skill that relieves stress and anxiety. Sounds like a win-win to me! As a last resort, if you do not have any erotica on hand, jump to your iTunes account and start playing songs that mentally and physically put you in the mood.

2. Visit an adult store.

Make it a date and visit an adult toy shop. The arousing anticipation alone of this marked event will get you! Start by planning an outing for lunch, drinks, and a stroll around an adult toy shop. Wear something that makes you feel sexy, confident, and yourself.

Visual representation of the products will spark your imagination. You will naturally begin to think, “I wonder what that would feel like?” or “What does that do?” Another benefit to this hack is that shopping for a sex toy sparks conversation. It prompts people to begin sharing and exploring fantasies, curiosities, and of course the “hell no’s.” If you don’t have an adult store near you, there is no need to dismiss this hack. You don’t have to shop in person. Going online will do the trick. Start your Google search now. I’d recommend overnight shipping in this case.

3. Build anticipation throughout the day.

Imagine you are sitting at your desk, surrounded by coworkers, and your phone dings. As you quickly scan the message, your mind becomes activated, you suddenly feel awake, and your body starts tingling. That is the effect of a racy text message. Sexting is an effective way to slowly get the mind and body turned on. Also, for many people, it is a way to be mentally intimate with someone without getting naked. Sexting can promote and strengthen an emotional connection. It may not always feel like it, but sexting is a very vulnerable act.

Through this expressive communication, you may even learn something new about your partner. I believe that there is a little truth in every fantasy. All and all, sexting offers a safe place to express desires and concepts that you may be too intimidated to bring up in person. It’s a great hack to stimulate each sexter’s mind…and body.

4. Try a lower-body workout session.

Hands down, exercise boosts your sex drive. It is safe to say that exercise is a great mental relaxer. It is also a known coping skill to manage stress, happiness, and libido. Exercise releases three key brain chemicals: dopamine (the happy hormone), serotonin (the mood booster), and norepinephrine (which increases heart rate, arousal, and attention). These neurotransmitters are a recipe for success. It's a triple whammy of happiness, positive energy, and sexual arousal.

Focusing on a lower body workout routine, such as squats, lunges, brisk walks, etc., boosts blood flow to the genitals. Think of this arousal hack as a mental reaction to an involuntary biological response. If you detect blood engorgement to your genitals, it is likely to trigger a sexy thought, and you are off to the races.

This hack is not solely for the moment but can be a long-term gain. Research has found that regular aerobic exercise improves erectile function. To keep your libido and your erection up, prioritize a daily workout routine.

There is no one-size-fits-all arousal hack, but the four listed above have been proven effective by many people. There is a common theme buried in each hack. This subtle secret is that arousal is ignited in the mind. Your brain is your biggest sex organ. To keep a healthy, happy, and active libido, focus on your mental attitude and overall mental health. I always say, “Sex is between the ears, not just the legs.”