6 Ways to Transform From Headcase to Shero

You’ve prepped. You’ve studied. You’ve practiced. You’ve spent years in training.

You choke.

It’s a familiar, sad story, whether we’re the one who lost focus in the game, presentation, exam, or interview, or we’re observing it in our children, colleagues, or loved ones.

It seems so unfair. After all that hard work and discipline, why is it that everything can go so wrong?

Perhaps that is the wrong question.

Instead, maybe we should be asking how to improve our mental game, or the cascade of events that occurs when we face a high-stakes situation. When we have an effective and resilient mental game, we potentially become more clear and focused under challenge, thus elevating performance. In contrast, if we have an ineffective or nonexistent mental game, we may freeze, lose confidence, stumble, and forget what we’ve learned in the heat of the moment.

Therefore, if our training and preparation focus only on the physical and cognitive (what we know and understand) to the exclusion of the mental (how we think) and emotional (how we feel), we may miss our psychological Achilles’ heel. Since habits comprise 43 percent of our behavior, according to Wendy Woods, author of Good Habits, Bad Habits, our dysfunctional habits might rear their ugly heads at the most inopportune moments.

Therefore, performance often comes down to whether we’re cultivating constructive or unhelpful mental and emotional (behavioral) habits. Here are six tips on how to move from being a headcase to a s/hero in performance and overall well-being:

1. Notice and take responsibility for your habits: You can’t change habits that you neither acknowledge nor own. However, now that you know that your unconscious habits contribute either positively or negatively to your behavioral outcomes, you can also commit to self-awareness and growth, thus turning habits to your advantage.
2. Focus on strengths instead of weaknesses: If you’re still focusing on what’s wrong, try focusing on how you can improve what you do well. Both perspectives are aimed at improvement, but research shows it is more engaging and effective to improve where you already have talent. Take the Cliftons Strengthsfinders or the free Values in Action assessment to discover your superpowers and ways to build on them.
3. Take small steps to reduce bad habits or build good ones: You build and reinforce habits—both good and bad—because they benefit you in some manner. When you feel you’ve outgrown a habit, it’s time to replace it with a new one. Set up conditions to encourage good habits and reward them; do the reverse with bad habits. For example, if you’re trying to spend less time on your phone, power it down and put it in a drawer in your bedroom. Make the tools of your replacement activity (art supplies, bicycle, cape and mask, etc.) easily accessible instead. Give yourself a small reward when you’ve done the right thing, e.g., 10 minutes of your favorite cup of tea. Do the difficult and most important things first, while you have the most energy for such tasks.
4. Transform your inner critic: Did you know that supportive dialogue improves well-being and performance? It’s important to notice the quality of our mind’s chatter. Is it harsh and critical? Or is it encouraging us to be more optimistic, learn, or grow? If your self-talk is toxic, Ethan Kross, author of Chatter: The Voice in Our Heads, suggests that you consider coaching yourself through problems, such as by reminding yourself that you’ve been through similar challenges before. It is also helpful to write or share your feelings with trusted others for more objective feedback.
5. Reframe stress as an adaptive response to threat or challenge: Viewing stress as an invitation to make change or to work hard is more likely to improve performance and well-being compared to viewing stress as harmful, according to researcher Alicia Crum (2017). So don’t add stress to your stress by judging it. Make it your s/hero’s sidekick and use it to your benefit by seeing the opportunities within.
6. Deepen your learning: Healthy behaviors start with good ideas and insights, but they also require practice and experimentation to realize their full benefits. A structured learning and behavioral change (training) process can deepen the learning and growth process, especially when done with a trusted other. Explore resources such as the Science of Mindsets: Implications for Athletes to Strengthen Their Mental Game or Relationship Wellbeing to discover and develop better mental and emotional habits, performance, and well-being.

In summary, feeling like a headcase is wonderful feedback: valuable changes can help you transform into the academic, sports, or work s/hero that you are. New habits take commitment and effort to create but can help you tap into your superpowers, especially when you need them the most.