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Can You Read Your Way to a Better Death?
Learn about the emergence of “death-positive” literature.
Posted December 26, 2023 Reviewed by Ray Parker
Key points
- A growing movement encourages open and accepting conversations about death, dying, and grief.
- Death-positive literature spans genres that explore and normalize death.
- It destigmatizes death-related professions, supports open dialogue, and can improve end-of-life care.
![Yaroslav Shuraev / Pexels Yaroslav Shuraev / Pexels](https://cdn2.psychologytoday.com/assets/styles/article_inline_half_caption/public/field_blog_entry_images/2023-12/pexels-yaroslav-shuraev-5084674.jpg?itok=IaR2KO2D)
Death, the one certainty in life that is often shrouded in fear and uncertainty, has long been a topic relegated to the periphery of societal discourse. However, a paradigm shift is occurring as the growing "death positive" movement encourages a more accepting and open approach to discussions surrounding death, dying, and bereavement.
This movement has given rise to "death-positive" literature—books and readings in all genres that seek to explore, understand, and normalize this future reality that all living beings share. Death-positive literature aims to shift the narrative from fear and avoidance to acceptance and understanding, inviting readers to engage with the subject of mortality in a healthier, more thoughtful, and introspective way. For some readers, the experience can be nothing short of transformative.
Many death-positive works are nonfiction—personal narratives and memoirs written by authors who want to share their own experiences with death and grief. These personal stories can demystify death and create a sense of communal connection, fostering empathy and compassion among some readers. As a theme, there is nothing new about the appearance of death in literary works. It's our approach to this literature that is changing.
Death isn't simply an event that happens to a character or a loved one in a poem, novel, essay, or memoir, but rather, it is an opportunity to explore our relationship with mortality.
The roots of the death-positive movement can perhaps be traced back to the 1960s when figures like Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and her 1969 best-selling book On Death and Dying opened the door to a more nuanced understanding of death. However, it was author and mortician Caitlin Doughty who played the most pivotal role in galvanizing the movement through her advocacy for death awareness and ecologically sustainable death care. In 2011, Doughty founded the nonprofit organization The Order of the Good Death, which signaled the birth of the movement and continues to thrive as an educational resource for all topics related to death and dying.
In addition, Doughty's 2014 groundbreaking memoir, Smoke Gets in Your Eyes: And Other Lessons from the Crematory, offers a candid and often humorous account of her experiences working in a crematory. In this memoir, Doughty skillfully challenges societal norms surrounding death, the funeral industry, and flame cremation as a form of body disposition and inspires others to do the same. Doughty's articulate and engaging coming-of-age storytelling, combined with her behind-the-curtain firsthand experiences in a crematory, makes this book a fascinating and enlightening exposé of the world of corpse care.
Equally engaging is Doughty's 2018 book From Here to Eternity: Traveling the World to Find the Good Death, which explores the death customs of communities worldwide in search of the most dignified and benevolent death. This informative book delves into the diverse cultural and spiritual perspectives on death, from Mexico City's Día de los Muertos celebration to the glass casket viewings of Barcelona to the open-air pyre cremations in Crestone, Colorado.
By examining how different societies and belief systems approach death, From Here to Eternity broadens readers' understanding of the unique and distinct ways people cope with mortality. Abounding with humor and wit as well as introspective and philosophical reflections, Smoke Gets in Your Eyes and From Here to Eternity were New York Times bestsellers.
No shortage of nonfiction books offers advice on death, dying, and bereavement. Still, one that stands out as a beautifully written and intimately informative guide is Advice for Future Corpses (and Those Who Love Them): A Practical Perspective on Death and Dying by Sallie Tisdale. Published in 2018, this book takes readers on a chronological journey through the death process told from Tisdale's perspective as a palliative care nurse and Buddhist practitioner.
The book is a narrative treasure trove of tender words of wisdom, such as the following:
“What do we call beautiful? New flowers in spring, autumn’s brilliant color, the cast of twilight across a mountainside. Beauty is most poignant at the moment it begins to fade. Twilight disappears as we watch. We love our endangered lives, these swift, fleeting lives, changing before our eyes. Life as it is. Luminous, everyday, extraordinary life.”
While Tisdale doesn't sugar-coat what it means to be a future corpse or a caregiver of one, her writing is both sensitive and exquisite, reminding readers that there is grace and beauty to be found in this future.
Victoria Chang's poetry collection Obit, published in 2020, is a poignant rendering of the profound and intimate terrain of grief, loss, and remembrance the author experienced after her mother's death. Each poem is written as an obituary, asking readers to think more deeply about how language and structure can shape our understanding of death.
The poems sing as newsy lyrical expressions of the various deaths that accompany the loss of a loved one. With powerful first lines such as Control—died on August 3, 2015, and Appetite—died on March 16, 2015, Chang reminds us that every aspect of our lives is touched when we lose someone close to us. She illuminates the idea that when a loved one dies, everything dies, but hope can be found, too, in those places and things we often take for granted.
I could include many more books, but these works can provide a useful starting point for your investigation into this literature. In the U.K., libraries are creating displays called "death-positive libraries," where books that centralize death are showcased together to encourage readers to learn more about death, dying, and the death-positive movement.
According to The Guardian, the initiative "uses activities, art, and literature to remove barriers to talking about the subject—including reading groups, author talks, film screenings, art installations and 'death cafes' where people can meet for conversation." The emergence of death-positive libraries has the power to inspire and catalyze a broader societal shift by supporting open dialogue about death.
It is worth mentioning that death-positive literature can also contribute to the destigmatization of death-related professions, such as hospice care, funeral services, cemetery management, and grief counseling. By shedding light on these essential roles in our society, death-positive literature humanizes the individuals who work in these fields and dispels the expectation that grief should be a private and time-bound process. Instead, it illuminates that we all navigate through bereavement in unique ways.
The acceptance of death as a natural part of life has significant implications for how we approach end-of-life care, grieving processes, and our overall quality of life. At its core, death-positive literature crosses all genres and is unified by a common theme—the acknowledgment and exploration of death as an intrinsic part of the human experience.
It aims to nudge us closer to a healthy relationship with death. In a society that frequently avoids discussions about our mortality, death-positive literature emerges as a powerful tool that can lead to a more knowledgeable approach to the great mystery that awaits us all.
References
Chang, Victoria. (2020). Obit: Poems. Port Townsend, WA: Copper Canyon Press.
Doughty, Caitlin. (2018). From Here to Eternity: Traveling the World to Find the Good Death. New York: W. W. Norton.
Doughty, Caitlin. (2015). Smoke Gets in Your Eyes: And Other Lessons from the Crematory. New York: W. W. Norton.
Tisdale, Sallie. (2018). Advice for Future Corpses: A Practical Perspective on Death and Dying. New York: Gallery Books.