5 Key Ideas About Identity Theory

1. Why are people motivated to be authentic? The ultimate goal for individuals is to develop and nurture those choices that are consistent with their true self (Waterman, 1984). Authenticity is the feeling that one is being one’s true self (Jongman-Sereno and Leary, 2018). To find more happiness in life means to live in harmony with one’s true self.

What does it mean to be who you are is a central question in identity theory. (Burke and Stets, 2009). Identity (self-views) relates to our basic values that determine the choices we make (e.g., relationships, career). The meaning of an identity includes expectations for self about how one should behave. For example, an obstetrician delivering a baby in a hospital is expected to express feeling quite different than the parents of the newborn child.

2. Identity formation. However, few people choose their identities. Instead, they simply internalize the values of their parents or the dominant cultures (e.g., a pursuit of materialism, power, and appearance). Imagine how different you would become growing up in a different culture or different times. Society shapes the self and guide behavior. Children come to define themselves in terms of how they think their parents see them. If their parents see them as worthless or incapable, they will come to define themselves as worthless or useless-and vice versa.

3. Role identity. People also have many identities as they belong to different networks of organized relationships. For example, a person may hold various identities such as a teacher, father, or friend. Each role or position has its own meanings and expectations that are internalized as identity. For example, my role as a college professor involves a set of expectations (being knowledgeable and competent). I am also a father with a different set of expectations (being regarded as warm and loving).

Role conflict occurs when there are incompatible demands placed upon a person. For example, consider the challenge of presenting yourself in social media when you interact with friends, family, and coworkers. According to identity theory, the identity with a higher level of commitment will guide the behavior.

Having several identities provides a sense of purpose in life, especially when roles are chosen freely. People who are able to choose their identities are those who have control over their lives compared to others who are obligated by life circumstances into particular identities (e.g., being stuck at a bad job or relationship).

4. The desire to feel valued. People are motivated to verify or confirm their existing self-views (Swann, 1983). Identity verification produces positive feelings. That is why we prefer to associate with those who see us the way we see ourselves and avoid those who do not. Alternatively, one may display identity cues by looking the part (e.g., dressing a certain way, wearing a specific baseball cap, or using a particular speech style) to send a message so that others recognize their identities.

Failure to verify identity produces self-esteem problem. When social relationships do not contribute to identity-verification, individuals may leave such relationships and seek identity-verification and self-esteem elsewhere. For example, a study showed that when couples verify their spousal identities, their feelings of self-esteem and self-confidence are increased and their distress and depression decreased (Burke and Stets, 2009). Being with a partner who confirms your self-view as a spouse makes you feel better about yourself.

5. Identity change. The lack of abilities to confirm and verify an identity leads to a change in identity standards. For example, people’s identities change as a result of situational changes such as marriage, divorce, job loss, change of place to live, and illness. In marriage, people take on the spousal identity that their partner wanted them to have. Under these conditions, what it means to be who you are will change. What was me becomes not-me. They disengage from the social expectations of given roles and think of themselves apart from the people they were in the previous roles (Stets and Serpe, 2016). These slow and small changes add up over time so that in five or 10 years, you will look back and recognize how much you have changed.