5 Ways to Edit Awkward Conversations

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‘Tis the season… for uncomfortable social interactions.

I remember one holiday season when my aunt couldn't stop talking about how no one was eating her potato salad. She ended up locking herself in the bathroom and crying hysterically.

There was another holiday when my dad started yelling about how his vote would cancel out mine. Soundbites from Fox News soon followed and offensive slurs were close behind.

More recently, a discussion among friends disintegrated when someone brought up race and privilege. Dinner ended after someone screamed an insult across the table, Real Housewives-style. Check, please.

I write a lot about how improv comedy has applications and benefits in our offstage, everyday lives. Research is beginning to paint a clearer picture of how. Improv helps people tolerate uncertainty, lower social anxiety, and boost creativity. One of the most common improv applications is to integrate “yes, and” into our personal and work lives to help us brainstorm and de-escalate conflict. "Yes, and" is when you go along with the reality at hand and then add new details from there. On stage, this might mean I go along with my scene partner’s suggestion that I’m an NFL player and then keep the scene going by saying he’s the best husband a footballer could ask for.

In real life, this could mean going along with my grumpy teen’s complaint that school is the worst and asking why it was so bad, instead of trying to convince her that it’s not that big a deal or that she needs to just get through somehow. "Yes, and" can be a powerful tool to generate ideas and to keep scenes going on and off stage.

But what happens when you don’t want your real-life scene to keep going?

Just as improv gives us a roadmap to keep scenes going, it can also be our guide for how to alter and even end cringy conversations that are going terribly wrong.

In improv, these are called edits. Improvisers can change characters, move forward or backward in time, add new information, shift the focus, or even end scenes altogether.

To help you survive this holiday season, here are five improv edits and how they could help you wriggle your way out of the most awkward and uncomfortable interactions.

1. Tag-out

Improv: In improv, a tag-out edit is when someone offstage walks on, tags someone, and replaces them. For example, if a doctor is talking to a patient about how long they have to live, someone offstage could walk on and tag out the patient. A new scene could start with the same doctor and a different patient. This pattern could continue as the doctor gives more and more ridiculous lifespan predictions.

Real Life: Why not help someone out this holiday by taking one for the team? My sisters and I used to do this whenever our grandpa would visit. He would trap one of us in a seemingly endless, epic story cycle until a new sibling would show up and utter, “Whoa, grandpa. That’s so cool!” Then the new sibling would become cornered in a neverending grandpa story.

If you see someone stuck in an endless, one-sided conversation, hop on up and take their place. Then pray someone will eventually do the same for you.

2. Swinging Door

Improv: A swinging door edit is when someone offstage enters the scene, swings one improviser toward them, and adds new information to the scene. Let’s say there’s a scene about a mother and a late-blooming child. Someone can walk onstage, swing the manchild toward them, and scream, “It’s time to grow up, Earl!”

Real Life: Anyone can change the trajectory of a conversation at any time. Let’s say Aunt Maple starts talking about critical race theory. Feel free to swing on in and say, “I can’t find the dog!!!!” Even if there are literally no dogs at the party, you’ve given the room some time to start a much-needed new conversation.

3. Sweep Edit

Improv: The sweep edit is one of the most basic improv edits. To end a scene, one or more people just run in front of the scene and “sweep” it out of existence. This is everyone’s cue to run offstage and be done with the aforementioned scene.

Real Life: A sweep edit might be hard to pull off in real life, but let’s talk it through anyway. Let’s say your cousin starts asking you really personal questions. Family members are starting to gather and listen in. You could sweep yourself on over to the bar and grab a drink. If your cousin doesn’t get the hint, stay committed to starting a new scene. Maybe this new scene is about her shady personal life.

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4. Focus Edit

Improv: The focus edit is when one or two improvisers take the stage during an ongoing scene. They start their own scene, which shifts the focus from the previous scene.

Real Life: The focus edit feels like one of the most practical edits for real-life conversations. Let’s say Bob is talking about his latest medical procedure. That’s your cue to shift the focus. Look your mom right in the eye and say literally the first thing that comes to mind. Anything is better than what Bob’s about to say.

5. Leave Edit

Improv: It doesn’t get more basic than the leave edit. It’s when improvisers just peace out. They just edit the scene away by walking off stage.

Real Life: Vote with your feet, people. You can leave at any time. And that’s the clearest possible way to end uncomfortable real-life scenes and have a slightly better holiday season.

Wait a minute. Maybe my aunt wasn’t crying in the bathroom. Maybe she was just trying out a leave edit to help her survive the season.

The next time you’re in a conversation that shouldn’t have existed in the first place, don’t blindly “yes, and” your life away. Sometimes you’ve got to have boundaries. Sometimes you’ve just got to edit.