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I find it quite ironic that in the so-called age of information and technology, that much of our recent collective behavior has resembled the bandwidth of our most primitive ancestors. In fact, what I am envisioning is a sci-fi movie of zombies walking around with their arms out in front completely on autopilot, walking together yet with no awareness of or connection to each other.
In a nutshell, our amygdalae have been hijacked and we are now being driven by our limbic system rather than the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain which houses our metacognitive thought processes, our higher-thinking. This is where our abilities of judgment, reasoning, problem-solving, decision-making, and impulse control reside.
We have been collectively stuck in our mid-brain, emotional headquarters and “Fear Central.” For any of us who have experienced trauma in the past (roughly 40 percent of the adult population), the pandemic may have flipped the switch on the threat circuit. This is the fight-flight-freeze system in our hard-drive that was designed to keep us alive, our “survival brain.” Once turned on, oodles and oodles of the stress hormone, cortisol, are released by the adrenal glands to enhance survival by keeping our senses hypervigilant. When in this state, we are ultra-alert and in the short-stop position, ready to take on anything that comes at us.
The problem is that the “survival brain” will always override the “learning brain” when it thinks it needs to step in to keep the human species going. This was true for our Neanderthal ancestors in the mid-Paleolithic era and it is still true for us today. In some ways, we really haven’t advanced as much as we think we have. We don’t know how to use language to get our needs met and react with weapons to prove dominance.
Trauma expert Bessel van der Kolk has explained that when stuck in the survival brain, we have basically gone offline from the more sophisticated frontal cortex. This leaves the amygdala to run wild without the supervision, wisdom, and guidance of the rational brain. Kind of like when parents leave teenagers home for the weekend and they throw a party, anything can happen.
In addition, when we are held captive by the limbic system, the dorsal and ventral medial frontal cortices are not functioning properly either, which means that our ability to “read the room” has been compromised as we can no longer integrate what is going on outside of us with what is going on inside. This can lead to poor judgment and bad decisions.
We have also lost the ability to listen to each other which is due to faulty executive functioning as well. What’s worse is that we think we are listening. We nod and smile (or not) when in a political conversation, while we feel the surge of primal rage rise from our toes all the way up our body until it takes over the rational-frontal-lobe completely. Without this voice of reason, we become slaves to our impulses. We have come to believe our own opinion is fact and the truth for all people.
Daniel Kahneman refers to the amygdala highjack as being taken over by our system one thought process, the faster, more reflexive, knee-jerk type thinking. He explains that where we should reside the majority of the time is in our system two thought process, which is much slower and gathers the facts before making decisions or acting. The difference is one of reacting versus responding, and primitive versus sophisticated thinking.
It seems that as a society, we have grossly steered away from sophistication. And, as critical thinking is the hallmark of what it means to be an educated individual, what is this saying? We have seemingly become incapable of actively listening to the other side, and the key word here is actively. Feigning listening doesn’t count as it is coming from a place of arrogance (and/or ignorance), and this generally doesn’t go very well as no one enjoys being talked down to. Even young children can tell when they are being patronized.
So, rather than continue to embrace our inner-Neanderthal ancestors, as this is clearly not working out well, perhaps we can try a one-week experiment:
- Grown-up time out: When you feel that surge of primal rage, politely excuse yourself and get out of dodge for a few minutes. Then,
- Breathe deeply: Neurologically, this will return your mind to the present moment from whatever frustrated or angry place it went to.
- Kill your ego: Realize that it is your ego that has the need to be right and not your authentic self. Being right is like catnip for the ego. Don’t fall into the trap. It will just make you miserable.
- Tell me more: Pretend you are listening to yourself. Make eye contact. Be authentically engaged even if this person’s opinion is the polar opposite of yours. Challenge yourself.
- Keep your friends close and your perceived enemies closer: If you strongly disagree with and even despise the other side, make the effort to know what makes them tick if you truly want to stay on top of your game.
- Don’t let karma bite you in the a**: Remind yourself that reacting impulsively isn’t worth it. Payback is a b*tch.
- Take the high road. Remind yourself that it’s more important to be kind than right (most of the time).
The time has come to get back online with the rational brain, so we can stop thinking with our feelings and move forward as a civilized society.
References
Kahneman, D. (2011). Thinking fast and slow. New York, NY: Farrar, Straus and Giroux.
van der Kolk, B. (2015). The body keeps score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. New York, NY: Penguin Books.
