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Key points
- No matter how much one has mastered bringing their best self to work, there will always be circumstances in which they are not at their best.
- Even if they have close friendships with their colleagues outside of work, they must avoid the temptation to blend work time and social time.
- People should keep speaking up when they think something is going wrong or needs to be fixed. But they should also offer a potential solution.
Everyone has been guilty of displaying a bad attitude at one time or another. No matter how much we have mastered bringing our best selves to work, there will always be circumstances in which we are not at our best. The key to managing these bad days or moments is to know this: What style does your bad attitude take?
The first step to positive change is awareness of our current patterns and habits. That way, when our bad attitude starts to creep up, we can spot it more easily and understand the specific ways it impacts those around us.
When you are not at your best, which of these bad-attitude behaviors are you most likely to display?
The Porcupine
Porcupines say, with either words or body language, “Get away from me!” They want others to avoid them or leave them alone. Porcupines may express this by being angry, irritable, or sad.
Of course, we aren’t always going to feel 100 percent at work. But again, the important thing is to have an attitude that is at least polite. Don’t force yourself to be cheerful or bubbly. But keep it professional. Be approachable and open to communicating about the work in a brief, straightforward, and efficient manner.
The Entangler
Entanglers are the opposite of porcupines. Entanglers want everybody else to be involved in their (often personal) issues. They want others to notice, listen to, and engage them around their issues, even if those issues are really not anyone’s concern at work.
It’s easy to become an entangler without even noticing it in workplaces that are particularly social. But if you find yourself relying on work as a place for support and attention, take a step back and remember: Work is about the work. Even if you have close personal friendships with your colleagues outside of work, avoid the temptation to blend work time and social time. Make a plan to discuss personal matters outside of work, and stick to that plan.
The Debater
Debaters always have an argument to make, regardless of whether it is a good one or not. The challenge for many chronic debaters is that they often genuinely feel they are providing valuable perspective and adding to the conversation—even if their addition doesn’t go anywhere.
If you feel compelled to speak up on every point made in a meeting, it might be time for a reality check. Are you engaging in debates with colleagues because you have a valid business concern, a potential solution, or because you simply feel it reflects well on you to have an opinion? Next time you feel compelled to jump into a debate at work, take a breath. Choose to—at least once—let your point slide and see what happens. The outcome might be smoother than you anticipate.
The Complainer
Complaining can be good from time to time, but beware when it becomes a counterproductive pattern. Complainers point out the negative symptoms of a situation. But they also do so without offering solutions or next steps.
Don’t stop speaking up when you think something is wrong or needs fixing. But when you do, offer a potential solution. Or make a point of saying, “I don’t have an answer right now, but I will look into it. I welcome any thoughts or advice.” Be known as a troubleshooter.
The Blamer
Blamers are close cousins of complainers. They also point out negative symptoms, like a complainer, but blamers point the finger at specific individuals in an effort to “solve” the problem.
The issue with blame is it may feel productive, but in reality, it only further delays the process of actual problem-solving. Imagine how much better it would be if you channeled that finger-pointing into a robust after-action review. Focusing everyone’s problem-solving energy on the concrete actions of the work itself rather than on individuals will lead to change that improves future results.
The Stinkbomb Thrower
Frankly put, this is the worst of the most common bad attitudes. Stinkbomb throwers make sarcastic (or worse) remarks, curse under their breath (or aloud), or even make loud gestures such as slamming doors.
Stinkbomb throwers are usually caught in a pattern of thinking where they are always focusing on what they need or want. They are eternally let down and may feel helpless to change the situation. But if you are a stinkbomb thrower reading this, make an effort to be generous. Offer your respect, commitment, hard work, creativity, or gratitude. Try it for a while and see how it affects your working relationships or at least your attitude about them.
