Resilience
Becoming Comfortable With the Uncomfortable
Ways to stay resilient and navigate life’s tough terrain.
Posted October 30, 2020 Reviewed by Gary Drevitch
![Mica Estrada, used with permission. Mica Estrada, used with permission.](https://cdn.psychologytoday.com/sites/default/files/styles/article-inline-half-caption/public/field_blog_entry_images/2020-10/bug_1.jpg?itok=gkowoQXQ)
“Are you sure you want to take the little VW bug down this road?” I ask as my fearless sweetheart drives us over large loose rocks and uneven terrain in the rugged landscape of the Mojave Desert. He doesn’t hesitate, while I sit praying (and also enjoying the way we’re making it down roads clearly designated for a 4X4 and not our little car). But the only way to go was to move forward, sometimes aggressively and sometimes with caution as we hit small rocks, bushes, and soft sand. The drive felt like a perfect metaphor for the year 2020.
We, as a nation, and as individuals, have been driving across uneven and sometimes challenging life terrains as we navigate COVID-19, climate crises of various sorts, economic challenges, racism, and political unrest. And at the same time, many of us have made the decision to step on the gas and continue to roll forward, not sure at what point one of these obstacles will cause us or people we love some real damage (if it hasn’t already). What can we do?
When a challenge is clearly before you...
Like the little VW Bug journey, we have an excellent opportunity to become comfortable with the uncomfortable. How?
First, relax. Seriously, this seems like a crazy thing to do when challenges are clearly before us. Watching trees wave in the wind gives a clear lesson that too much tension can make us break more easily, especially if we do have to stop or switch directions quickly. Well-researched methods include meditation, yoga, and biofeedback. (Click here for more info on this.)
![Mica Estrada, used with permission. Mica Estrada, used with permission.](https://cdn.psychologytoday.com/sites/default/files/styles/article-inline-half-caption/public/field_blog_entry_images/2020-10/img_5740.jpg?itok=zt_juVX7)
Second, remember your power. In spite of what the world might throw at us, we can’t forget who we are and what power we have. There have been other times when tough terrain required confidence and power to avoid getting stuck. This is true for you and me. Sometimes we just need to remember our power and push.
Third, be willing to move the pieces around. At one point in our drive, there was a large hole that clearly the car, with only five inches of clearance, was not going to pass. We stopped, got out, and looked at it. Was there a way to avoid it completely? No. Then my sweetie started to collect rocks and fill the hole. I started to help and before long the hole was only half as deep — passable! Back into the car we went, and sure enough, we rolled over it.
![Mica Estrada, used with permission Mica Estrada, used with permission](https://cdn.psychologytoday.com/sites/default/files/styles/article-inline-half-caption/public/field_blog_entry_images/2020-10/img_5691.jpg?itok=7p2_eZI9)
We are sitting in unprecedented times.
I see that many of my friends and family are feeling especially stressed by the times we are in. I write this mostly to acknowledge that we may each be small little VW Bugs on a very jumbled road. I also observe that it is a more fun and enjoyable ride for me, no matter how rough, when I am with people who love me, when I allow myself to laugh, and I am willing to step into my power when circumstances deem it the most likely way to get through. And sometimes that journey, though tough, can take us to a spectacular view that reveals the beauty of it all.
“Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it.” — Helen Keller
References
Harvard Health Publications, Harvard Medical School, Harvard Men’s Health Watch. (2011, February). Exercising to relax. Retrieved from http://www.health.harvard.edu/newsletters/Harvard_Mens_Health_Watch/201…
Klainin-Yobas P, Oo WN, Suzanne Yew PY, et al. Effects of relaxation interventions on depression and anxiety among older adults: a systematic review. Aging and Mental Health. 2015;19(12):1043-1055.