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The purpose of our existence is to seek happiness. It is not self-centered or self-indulgent to constantly be on that search. Happy people are generally more sociable, flexible, and creative. Most important, happy people are found to be more loving and forgiving. They maintain a quality of openness and willingness to reach out to others.
Research has shown that older adults are happier, due to what they have learned and experienced. There are now more Americans over 60 than under 15. We have a generation that has the ability, and I might add, the duty, to develop a new culture of positivity and hope.
Hope and happiness are very much intertwined. Much of our happiness is based in the joy we anticipate, not fear of the future. One of the most immediate methods of finding joy is in the planning of something exciting. Just planning fun brings us happiness, and hope.
The universe always has and always will create what is meant to occur. There is not much we can do to control the existence of time and energy. Our “thoughts and prayers” will do little to alter that, but they might give us a little hope. Is it false hope? There is no such thing as false hope. It’s like saying “negative positivity.” Hope brings affirmative comfort into our lives.
Defining hope is similar to defining a meal. Your main course might be ending, and your plate is being taken away, but you hold on to your fork in hopes of a delicious dessert. That is the basis of my book, Keep Your Fork; Something Sweet is Coming. Whatever your main course that was taken away, you have been handed this transition for a reason. The doubt, the fear, and the uncertainty are sitting on your empty placemat for a reason. You have been given the gift of being in this beautiful space that will allow you to process a new, advanced level of living your life. (Think of yourself reading the dessert menu.) It was given to you to promote change for an intended new future. What will it be? That is the enormous question.
You can’t Google the answer. You can’t ask a friend. You must live in the process and discover the purpose. I will change that statement: You “get to” live in the process, and you “get to” live a new purpose. It is completely our choice to focus on the plate that is being taken away, or the sweet possibilities of what is to come. Create hope.
No matter what is handed to us, or what happens to us, the true reward comes from asking, “What was the meaning of that in my life?” Joy will bloom with a search for meaning and purpose. Maintain hope.
A crisis not only disrupts our lives but also challenges our self-worth and our place in the world. It can force us into a new way of perceiving ourselves and the world. We hopefully begin to think from our heart. We can learn to listen to our beautiful, instinctive passion for life. The obvious question is, “How do I start my search for hope?”
We have the choice to sit and dwell on the horrible things that might happen, or we can focus on the infinite opportunities ahead of us. We can think about possible new goals and avenues to achieve them. Meaningful goal pursuit makes us happy. A commitment to those goals, to a religion, to a community, or to work are related to a pursuit of purpose.
Resilience and purpose are the roads to hope.
The search isn’t always a rosy skip over the rainbow. Often our child-brain kicks in with “Oh no!” and “I don’t know what to do,” or, “Why am I so lame?” Allow yourself a little peaceful time to acknowledge those questions. Then ask your adult brain to comment on how it might respond. Even better, team up with another adult brain who knows you and loves you. We are only helping others grow when we allow them into our lives to express themselves and shine their light and beauty. We can become comfortable with kindness. Remember that your purpose cannot be just about you.
Resilience and purpose are not a destination. They are not a monetary goal or a set deadline. Those are for our career brain. Resilience is an ever-changing process. It is a reblooming. It is planting a few new seeds.
One of the best questions to begin a search is “What have I not done in my life that I still want to accomplish?” Try writing just four words that describe your hope for your life and your future. As I noted above, fear is based on the future. So is hope. Have hope that the fear will end. Expect that life will get better—better than it has ever been.
Learn to expect and believe the opposite of what you fear. Change the nervous “What if?” to a “Wow! What if!” Expect the best that could happen. Stop stressing over the what-ifs and appreciate what is.
One of the most important parts of this journey is to look back at who you have been. Our past is there to help us figure out our future. What a shame it would be if we ignored it. You can organize your past as:
- What I did.
- What I learned.
- What I wish I did.
- What I used to dream about.
- What I dream for now.
Another excellent exercise is to design the next year, backwards. What might your perfect life look like in one year? Month by month, write what happened to get there. Start 11 months from now, then 10, etc.
If we only feel gratitude when it serves our desires, we are not being fully grateful. Fate may take our possessions, situations, or even people we love. During those times, we struggle to find gratitude, but by holding on to our fork and trusting in hope that we can discover a new level of purpose, we will find a new level of gratitude like we have never known.
If you could tell the entire world one message, what would it be? Pretend you have won an Oscar and are standing in front of the microphone with the entire world waiting for your message. What will you say to give the world hope?
