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Key points
- Achieving contentment may be even more important to well-being than being happy.
- People can inventory their life for activities and relationships that have brought contentment in the past.
- They can look for new things to try that might add to their contentment, such as artistic pursuits or volunteer work, and cut back on others.
There's something better than the pursuit of happiness.
To explain, some people could be happy, at least for a while, being high all day while being ministered to by sycophants. But contentment is more encompassing, more permanent. and more worthwhile. That's because you could gain contentment doing something that doesn't make you happy but the benefit of which is worth it.
An iconic example is Mother Teresa, who couldn’t have been happy amid Calcutta’s stench, her ankles ever bitten by scorpions. But according to the definitive biography by Kathryn Spink, she lived contentedly, helping countless people, despite, perhaps surprisingly, her struggle to maintain her religious faith.
But what about you? How can you gain contentment—without having to be a saint?
Inventory your life.
First, inventory your current life and earlier years. What has brought you at least some contentment? Consider your work life, relationships, recreational activities, and volunteering. Do you want to do more of any of those?
A special word about relationships. Would the "Wise One" within you tell you to spend more time or less time with certain friends? Which ones? Which family members?
What next?
Now project forward. There may well be activities you haven’t yet done but sense could contribute to a more contented life. Examples may include:
Work
Should you take on or request to take on a special project that would increase your contentedness? Maybe it's even a Big Project that, when you’re looking back on your life, will make you feel good about how you lived it. For example, a helping professional might decide to write a magnum opus of lessons learned from professional life A teacher might assemble a reunion of former students. A scientist could convene a Zoom meeting of the colleagues worldwide that s/he most respects.
Relationships
Have you shortchanged yourself by accepting poor relationships? Would you live a more contented life if you pruned those and tried to replace them? Where might better-suited people be? At the right MeetUp? At a volunteer opportunity? What course might they take? What singles activity might they attend? The right relationships can certainly boost contentment.
Outside-of-work activities
Artistic expression. That needn’t require great talent. Many mere mortals have found a creative outlet in photography, needlework from knitting to quilting, and singing, perhaps in a choir, perhaps just when alone in your home, the proverbial shower singer. Write stories, poems, even the Great American Novel or screenplay? Or is there someone whose biography you’d like to write, even your own?
Appreciating others’ artistic productions. Many people are content with more passive involvement in artistic endeavors. That's typically as an audience member and perhaps donor. But there's a middle-ground between artistic creator and observer. Just one example: Become a behind-the-scenes person in a community theatre. As someone who has directed plays and been board president of a community theatre, I can speak with certitude about the ongoing need for volunteers to be stage manager, prop-manager, running lights and sound, scene builder, scene painter, costumer, and dresser (helping actors make quick costume changes.) One step further removed is selling tickets or fundraising.
Sports. Would your contentment be increased by participating in a competitive or relaxed recreational sports league? Or if you prefer an individual sport, might you want to go all-in on skiing, martial arts, golf, hiking, or tennis? Or if you’d like a less physically demanding sport, how about bowling or table tennis? Or, as millions of people do, become a loyal fan.
Things you want to do less of? Many people find that the short-term pleasures of, for example, shopping, substance use, promiscuity, and gambling are inimical to ongoing contentment. How about you?
The takeaway
As appealing and enshrined as the pursuit of happiness is, contentment may be an even wiser goal. Might any of this post’s ideas boost yours?
I read this aloud on YouTube.
