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Explaining Racism to Children

Understanding the causes and effects.

With the huge protests viewed on television and online, children of all ages have been questioning what this is all about. They've heard the term "racism" over and over again and need your help to understand what it means. They have urgent questions: Why did the policeman kill that man? Why is everyone so angry? What do the protesters want?

You can explain racism in a simple, straightforward way that will give your child an understanding of the causes of prejudice and encourage him to be accepting of diversity. The best way to do this is to connect the basic concepts to his own life experiences. To accomplish this, address these seven topics.

1. Explain diversity.

You might begin by talking about diversity in your child’s class. Point out that each child at school is a little different. Sara has red hair, while Jamie's hair is brown. His friend Alex has dark skin, while Sammy is very light. The twins were born in Denmark, and they speak a different language, called Danish. Nurit is a Moslem, which is one of many religions.

But all the kids have Mommies and Daddies who love them and work hard for their families. They all have hearts and lungs and can walk, talk, and feel love. Even though people look different and have different backgrounds, they are all human beings. Each person is different, but we all are the same.

2. Talk about the fear of differences.

In our world, some people are not accepting of people who look different from them or come from other backgrounds. Sometimes this happens simply because they are not familiar with these people. They are afraid of differences.

Remind your child that when his friend Tommy first came to his class, he seemed different, and the kids were uncomfortable around him. Your child didn’t even want to invite him to his birthday sleepover. When he got to know Tommy, he saw that he was just like all the kids, and they became good friends.

3. Address family reasons.

Explain that sometimes when children are growing up, they hear their families talk about a group of people in a negative way. Soon they begin to fear and even hate this group of people and accept their family’s reasons. The family might not like this group because of their fear of differences, or they might be holding a grudge against one particular individual from that group and transferring the anger to the whole group. When this happens, children take on the beliefs of the people in their family, because they love their family and want to be loved by them.

4. Compare to bullying.

Explain to your child that racism is similar to bullying. Remind your child about the time he was bullied by someone at school. Point out that this child was probably pushing other kids around because he didn’t feel so good inside. Maybe he was lacking love or was being treated harshly at home. He couldn’t control what was happening at home, but his bullying behavior made him feel more powerful and valuable.

Some people form groups that bully another group of people and treat them as if they are not as good as them. The reasons are similar—the bullies don’t feel so good about themselves. Or they might be angry that they don’t have as much money or possessions as others. They blame these people for their problems.

If the other group of people is viewed as bad, then they can feel better about themselves. Being part of this kind of group makes these individuals feel more powerful and important. But in the end, bullies have a false sense of value. The bad feelings about themselves or their realities are unchanged.

5. Speak about the effects of prejudice.

It’s important to raise your child’s awareness of how it feels to be the victim of prejudice. Talk about the time some kids in the playground made fun of him, pushed him to the ground, and hit him, and how frightened, rageful, and powerless it made him feel. Emphasize that this is how prejudice feels and that no one should treat another human being this way. Understanding how victims of racism feel is key to strengthening your child’s values about treating other people with caring and respect.

6. Explain the protests.

Explain that the worst thing that can happen is that one group actually harms another group, by calling them mean names, ostracizing them, or hurting them physically.

Recently, a policeman killed a black man by holding him down with his knee. The man kept yelling, “I can't breathe,” and the officer never stopped what he was doing. The man died. This was caused by racism.

Many people who saw a video of this terrible event were enraged and began to protest in the streets. The protesters are old, young, black, and white, from all over our country and the world. They are angry because they feel the police are being racist and not treating black people (especially their youth) the same as white people.

These violent situations have occurred for a long time, and often the policemen who commit the crimes have not been punished. The protesters believe that if anyone (including a policeman) hurts another human being, the person should be held accountable, regardless of the injured person’s background. They want racism against the black community to stop.

They believe that African Americans have not been treated equally to white people since they were brought here from Africa and forced to become slaves. Black people have been physically harmed and killed, as well as denied the right to vote, to go to a school of their choice, live in a neighborhood they would like, or get a job that they are qualified for. They are denied these opportunities because of the color of their skin.

7. Ending racism.

Many other groups have been seriously harmed by racism in this country and all over the world. There have been wars caused by racism, where one country or one group fights and kills another. The protesters want to end racism against all people. They want everyone to be respected as equal citizens with equal rights. Our country is a democracy, and that's the way it is supposed to be. We have a constitution that defends the freedom and equal rights of all people.

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